


Biting the Hand that Feeds

by crazedcurls



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Artistic License, Because it's me writing it, Dark!Loki, Darkfic, F/M, Historical AU, Maid is taken advantage by the trickster, Norse Mythology AU, Triggers, au mythology, but with a new TWIST, except it's not mythology?, looks like marvel, not historically accurate at all, rapist!loki, reads like norse mythology, trigger warning, women get motherfucking revenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-03-26 14:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazedcurls/pseuds/crazedcurls
Summary: Set in an ancient Norse-like world. Linnea is a slave that works as a scullery maid in the hall of Asgard. When she catches the eye of the prince of Asgard her life is tipped upside down, and she must be able to hold on to herself so she does not lose everything. In a world where men can be tyrants, how can women hope to ever determine their own fate?Dark.





	1. She Can Read

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's writing another Loki story??? Me!!
> 
>  
> 
> This may be slightly different than my other stories, as it has been 5 years since I've been writing fanfiction periodically. BUT with that five years I hope I've gotten better.
> 
> Or I may suck, but whatever. 
> 
> Haha, I make my readers so excited to read my writing. Thank god it's fanfiction and not like... having to sell books. I'd give my publicist a heart attack by constantly referring to my writing as trash. B U T I happen to actually appreciate my trash! So I hope you guys will too!
> 
> "You know what that is? Growth."

                I huffed as I heaved my basket of firewood and supplies up the never-ending stone stairs. Usually it would be up to the housemaids or chambermaids to start the fires in the prince's room, however today I was required to neglect my usual morning duties to do this in addition to my regular work. I cursed Elise again and again in my head for getting sick as I managed to huff and puff my way up the last stair. A guard was walking through the hallway past me, and he flashed me a wry grin that let me know he had heard my entire struggle up the stairs.

                I gave him a dirty look and added him to my list of people to curse. Maybe I'd pray to the gods tonight to give him a sickness too, just like Elise. Finally I reached the doorway to Prince Loki's rooms. I set my supplies down first to hopefully regain some composure, although I doubted he'd be awake at this early hour. I studied the beautifully crafted wooden doors in front of me. A panicked realization came across me as I wondered if I was supposed to knock first or not.

                I really should have asked for more direction from the matron. I stood in front of the doors for a dozen more seconds, still puzzling over the conundrum of knocking or walking in. Finally I huffed with irritation and decided it would not be pertinent to awaken the prince of Asgard and pushed my way in.

                I'd had a brief tour of the palace when I was added to the employ of the royalty of Asgard a month ago. Most of my tour had been me hurriedly trying to keep pace with the matron as she endlessly listed every room we were passing by, most characterized by the statement that I "was under no circumstances to enter". The royal chambers being on that list. Well, it seemed I was moving up in the world of servitude, even if it was only to temporarily fill the shoes of another. Spending most of my time in the kitchens and the servants' quarters had in no way prepared me for the sight of the sheer majesty of royal chambers.

                The usual cold stone walls of the room were covered by rich green tapestries. I wished I could feel the softness of the velvet cloth, but I didn't dare put my soot-covered fingers anywhere near the tapestries. They were embroidered with images of woodland creatures and scenes of ancient Norse legends. A particular moonlit forest scene seemed to glimmer in the light of the braziers, the silver string used to make the moon appearing to gleam. I simply stood in the large doorway, keeping the doors open with my hip I surveyed the room. 

                Prince Loki's receiving room was bedecked with mahogany furniture upholstered with the same dark green velvet material. _The prince of Asgard must really appreciate the color Green._ Tables with clawed feet, a grand fireplace with plushy armchairs with tables piled with books. The books, oh the  _books._ Next to every tapestry, at least one bookshelf on every wall, floor to ceiling. It made my heart flutter. The small farm I had worked on for the past few years had a few measly books that I managed to read by candlelight after the landowners had gone to sleep. Yet here, only in this one room were more than I could ever remember seeing. I resisted the urge to run my fingers along the spines of the books on the shelves that towered over the fireplace on either side after I'd finally left the doorway.

                I set my basket next to me and settled to my knees as I set to work starting the fire that must have died out during the night. Then I stood and lit the braziers that had gone out and stoked the remaining ones with more coal. I knew after I'd finished I should leave, I dared a glance towards the doorway that led to Prince Lokis other rooms and stepped towards one of the shelves. I couldn't resist the temptation. I wasn't sure I'd ever be allowed back into this room.

                I wiped my dirty hands on my skirts, cleaning them to the best of my ability before reaching out and plucking the darkest books I could find. The cover was ebony, and I hoped that would mask any smudges incase coal still stained my hands. I delicately opened the cover, I just wanted to peek I told myself. I surely wouldn't have enough time to read an entire book, but I just wanted to see the title and author. In case the gods truly blessed me and the chance arrived I could find a book like this for myself someday.  _The Orkineyinga Saga_ I whispered to myself, almost as if it was a prayer.  _No_ I told myself,  _a promise_. I wouldn't be a servant forever, sure the path out looked desolate and near-impossible. But wallowing in despair and hopelessness would get me nowhere.

                I set the book back after checking it for any smudges or stains I might have left then stepped back to look at all the books again. This one shelf could occupy me for weeks, months maybe if I went slow. Yet there was possibly a dozen more bookshelves just like this, and I was sure he must have more in his bedchambers. All this knowledge and information, reserved for just one man.

                "Those ones are not worth very much, so if you're considering stealing one I wouldn't advise it." I whirled around to face the prince himself, smirking at me. He must have been out before I had even gotten here, as he was fully dressed and entered from the main door.

                "O-Oh! My apologies Prince Loki, of course not-I would never--" He stepped closer, his head tilted to the side and I fell silent as he scanned me.

                "You're not the one who usually starts my fires, I've never seen you here before." He said after a minute of observing me. Remembering my manners I swept into a clumsy curtsy and kept my eyes to the floor as I said,

                "My name is Leanna, sire. I'm a scullery maid. I'm filling in for Elise as she's sick this morning." I explained, I didn't dare look back up at him.

                "I see, pray tell why dally if you weren't planning on stealing from me?" His voice seemed light, almost... amused. I supposed that a prince of Asgard must see this interactions as nothing more than silly farce. Yet, that amusement could evolve into anger that could lead to me in the stocks for simply looking at his books. If he had caught me actually  _touching_ his possessions, the thought terrified me.  I'd heard stories of how far prince Loki's cruelty could extend with the blink of an eye he could flip from amused to enraged.

                "I-I was simply admiring your fine collection, sire." I said truthfully, my eyes still downcast to the floor. He didn't respond so I dared glance up at him to see his reaction. Every instinct told me to run, escape from the room while I still had my head, or at least my dignity. Prince Loki was also well known for his ruthless pranks, mainly on the servants and staff. Sometimes on his brother, crown prince Thor. 

                "I didn't realize a scullery maid would be able to read." He admitted, my eyebrows raised. I didn't know how to respond to him. Finally he shrugged and smiled at me, but not in the mischievous way he was known for. He actually seemed to be acting... kind? "You interest me, Leanna." He took a seat at one of the arm chairs and gestured to me to stand in front of him. "How did we manage to obtain an  _educated_ scullery maid?"

                Still wary of any trickery I awkwardly stood in front of him, my hands clenched at my sides. "I was captured as a slave from Eyvindara after it was--" I cut myself off, reminding myself that I was speaking to the  _prince_. "...liberated." I said, he didn't seem fazed, just nodded for me to continue. "I worked on a farm throughout my teen years and was recently sold here." I shrugged, not sure how much I needed to tell. "I read the books at the farmhouse, I don't remember my childhood in Eyvindara, but I must have been taught there." The prince stared at me for a few more moments. I could do nothing but continue to stand in front of him, a stray hair had fallen into my face and tickled my nose. I didn't even dare move it.

                Finally he leaned farther back into the chair, clasping his hands in his lap. "I like you Leanna, I'll have your matron alerted I'd like you replaced as my housemaid." 

                I couldn't stop my jaw from dropping in shock. A _housemaid_? I'd be taking Elise's position right from under her nose. Being promoted only after a month of working here? I could guess what kind of rumors would start about me and the prince. My hands shook as a struggled to come up with something to respond with. 

                "A-- housemaid... for  _you_. Oh-Oh sire, you don't need too--" He cut me off, grinning as he stood.

                "The matron will fill you in on your new duties, I'm sure, along with supplying you your new uniform." He said, heading towards his rooms. He hesitated and turned back, observing me for another moment. "Also, as a little gift from me. As long as you wash those hands, you are free to read any of my books you like." He flashed me another grin. "Given that you can stand to discuss them with me, I've been looking for someone to talk about  _The Orkineyinga_ with." With that he swept off into his room, leaving me in a confused daze. 

                He--he had seen me pick up the book. Yet he said nothing about it until now.  _Kind_ , I decided,  _The prince of Asgard might be kind_.

***

                I had assumed Elise's jobs were only to start the fires in the morning, but after extensive discussion with the matron I came to realize how much more I'd need to do. Elise was up in his rooms at least three times a day, and once more as he went to bed to make sure the fire would stay until he fell asleep and to put a brass bedwarmer under the prince's feet. My cheeks reddened when the matron gave me a pointed look about attending the prince in "bed", but I didn't dare face her wrath by speaking out of turn. 

                Despite the matron's obvious displeasure with what she assumed the origins of my sudden promotion, besides the one pointed comment she made no move to be any rougher or harsh than her usual brusque demeanor. After she finished listing all my new duties she turned and handed me crisp new dresses. The cloth felt heavier and possibly softer than my current rough brown dresses I wore as a scullery maid. A fresh white apron was folded neatly on top. I took the pile from the matron silently, waiting to be dismissed. Yet, she hesitated.

                "And, Leanna?" She hadn't addressed me by name during the entire tirade. I looked up at her questioningly. She hesitated again. "Be sure to be careful, it's a dangerous game to interact with royalty. We are but ants to them, just as their interest can grow so can their cruelty. Be grateful for the chance you've been given, but remain wary." With that warning she dismissed me and I curtsied before exiting her office. 

                I puzzled over her words and headed towards the kitchens, hunger driving me, the pile of clothing clutched under one arm. Ida, another scullery maid and my only friend confronted me as soon as she saw me. I was lost in my thought when she appeared, grabbing me by both forearms.

                "We need to speak." She said firmly, dragging me to one of the pantries. I could barely let out a squeak of protest before she had already shoved us into a tucked away corner, away from any gossiping ears.

                "Ida, you wouldn't believe the day I've had--" 

                "Oh I hope I'll be able to believe it. I've already heard from five other people that you fucked the prince so well he promoted you!" She stepped back and pointedly eyed the clothing in my hands. "Looks like the promoting part wasn't bullshit. Please tell me the rest was." I sighed, her brazen language was normal, I had gotten used to it. But I knew that this rumor would bother her in particular.

                Lots of maids tried to up their status by having "relations" with noblemen and even royalty. Unfortunately, just as many maids were usually shunned from the palace as soon as they were found pregnant. Forced out onto the streets without much more than the clothes on their backs. The noblemen never defended them or aided them either, as they could deny any relationship between them. It didn't matter how much it happened, women always seemed to be thrown out as the men lived their lives with no consequences. It made me sick.

                Ida was a child of a similar situation. She hadn't told me if it was anyone of this court, or it was possible she didn't know. Her mother had been cast out, and was forced to work tirelessly to provide for her and her child. Ida had started to work as soon as she was able, and sold herself as a slave to this very palace to pay for care for her mother when she grew ill. Despite terrible circumstances I couldn't help admire the strength of their relationship, and how much they'd sacrificed for one another. I wished I had anyone like that.

                "Ida, it's not what you think. The prince found out I could read and now wants me to read his books so we can discuss them. That's it, I swear." I had one hand out in front of me, as if Ida was a wild animal. I wasn't sure how she'd react if she didn't believe me, probably in a loud way that would only embarrass us both.

                She stared at me with narrowed eyes for a long moment. Processing. 

                "He wants to  _discuss books_ with you?" She asked after a moment. I shrugged,

                "I think, honestly, he might be a bit lonely. He's not at all like we've heard. He was... _kind_." Ida cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. 

                "Don't take offense, Lea, but I think the prince wants to do more than 'discuss' with you." I opened my mouth to protest but she raised her hand. "You may not see it yet, but just... be careful okay? They live in a different world than us." That was the second time today I'd heard that. I let all my arguments go and simply nodded in agreement. 

                "Even if he has other intentions, I swear I only plan on doing my duties."  _Possibly reading too, but I don't need to worry her with that_. Ida nodded back, satisfied.

                "Well if that's out of the way then let me hug you and congratulate you on your promotion!" She opened her arms and smiled at me, I laughed and gave her a hug with my free arm.

                "Come on," I said, stepping out of the pantry. "Show me where Cook has hidden the sweets for lunch, I'm starving." Ida chuckled and hooked her arm in mine and led me away.

***

                I returned to Prince Loki's room that night, fresh uniform on and happy, despite the wild rumors flying around, that I no longer had to spend my day scrubbing pans in the kitchens. I fixed up the fire in the receiving room, I had yet to enter his bed chambers. It filled my gut with uneasiness, but I reminded myself that Prince Loki was being kind to me, so the least I could do was to actually perform my duties. 

                His bed chambers were just as lavish as his receiving chambers. A washing room visible up ahead, I could hear the sound of the tap running and my gut twisted with the thought of him bathing only meters away from me. The fireplace was on the left wall and I hurried to it, efficiently stoking the dying embers back into flames. I was refilling the braziers with coals when he entered, hair damp and clothed in a robe. I silently curtsied and meant to leave the room when he called out to me.

                "Wait just a moment, Leanna." He said. I stopped, my supplies in my arms. I turned to face him, my cheeks reddening as I remembered Ida's forewarning of his possible intentions. He smirked at me, as if sensing my discomfort. "Have you had the chance to read any of  _The Orkineyinga_ yet?" 

                I swallowed down all the nervousness that had accumulated over the day due to multiple warnings of caution. "No sire," I said, "I hope I'll have time in between my duties tomorrow to finally start it." My hope was genuine, I really did want to read the book. Even if I didn't look forward to whatever "discussion" of the literature the prince was looking to have. The prince nodded, I almost jumped out of my skin as he stepped closer to me.

                Every hair on my body went into high alert at his proximity. I may have every intention to turn down any advances the prince may have had in mind, but I didn't consider if the prince would accept my "no" as an answer. Of course, rape was illegal, but that was usually only enforced in situations where the people are of equal social standing. Despite my position, I was still no more than a slave.

                He reached out a hand and brushed my face, I gulped, not sure if I should take my chances risking his wrath and bolt out of the room here and now.

                "Your accent is so... endearing."He smiled at me. "And you have such a pretty face, and your eyes... my favorite color is green you know." I almost laughed in surprise at the obvious statement, when suddenly his hand on my cheek hooked behind my head and he yanked me forward in attempt to force me to kiss him. Surprising us both I dropped the firewood supplies I was still holding and ducked underneath him before he could successfully pull me against him and backed away frantically.

                He looked in front of him in surprise, as if he couldn't fathom why I wasn't where he meant me to be. My breathing was heavy as I stared at him in apprehension. He looked up and blinked at me, still shocked. He might have my head for this, but I had no interest in bringing the rumors flying about us to become truth. 

                I couldn't stand the silence that had stretched between us. "I'm sorry sire, it's late..." I said, unsure of how to escape this situation. He continued to blink at me, looking down at his feet where the firewood supplies had crashed to the floor.

                "Yes..." He finally said, "it's time for me to go to bed." He said with certainty, and promptly turned on his heel and slipped into his four poster bed. Awkwardness had replaced the icy terror that had filled the room, I took the bedwarmer from where it rested next to the fireplace and after a second's hesitation approached his bed.

                Prince Loki offered me no words of reprieve as he watched me approach him. He had removed his robes, and I was forced to see his bare torso as he rested his hands behind his head. I lifted the blankets at the edge of the bed and slipped the bed pan there, as the matron had instructed me. I dared look up at him, waiting to be dismissed. 

                "Well," He said, a smile ghosting his lips. "I suppose this is the only way you'll be warming my bed tonight." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah I bet you THOUGHT I'd put a sex scene in the first chapter. I told ya, times have changed. I'm a new and improved writer. I give ANTICIPATION now. Ha!
> 
> Also by the way, Norse poetry and writings was all mainly oral, so no one would have tons of books. But as I said in the tags, Imma take some artistic liberties because I can. For instance, I'm gonna pretend there was running water. Because I don't want to write about chamber pots. Because that's gross. Assume everyone has hygiene and looks like the Marvel characters. Because that's what I'm doing. Because I can. Because of artistic license. So there.


	2. Exhaustion

                Since my promotion was so surprising I still had to do most of my usual duties as a scullery maid in addition to serving in the prince's rooms. I was up before dawn most days, helping the other maids start the fires in the kitchens so that by the time breakfast was being prepared the ovens would all be sufficiently hot. Usually the scullery maids got a short reprieve then to eat and chat for a bit before helping scrub dishes for the rest of the days. However once I finished starting all the fires in the kitchens I was to haul all my supplies up to the prince's rooms and start his fires for the day. Once that was done I returned to the kitchens and helped scrub between checking Prince Loki's rooms three to four times a day. I had only minutes to scarf down a muffin or some cakes before the matron would see me and snap at me to help with various duties. 

                I hadn't the energy to even consider dreading Loki's presence due to the events that had happened only a few nights ago. Besides, the next few days I didn't even see him. Which I suppose was a blessing, although I doubted my haggard appearance from being overworked would appeal much to the prince. Perhaps it'd cause him to regret ever trying to make a move on me. 

                On the fourth day of not seeing him I decided I could hide from the matron by reading in the prince's room briefly. After all, he had said so himself that I was welcome to his books. However, I could only stand putting off my duties for no more than 30 minutes at a time, as I worried the matron may come searching for me herself after my absence. Even with the prince's permission I doubted she'd be pleased to find me reading in his room.

                Even with only being able to read intermittently I was almost finished with  _The Orkineyinga_   _Saga_ and it thrilled me. I would love to live off on one of the far off colonies like Iceland. It was there that traditional roles and classes got messy, so many had the opportunity to own land that never had before. So many were able to marry upwards. The writing there was impeccable too, art seemed to be much more cherished there than it was here in Asgard. Here everything was made in much of the same way, no one ever varied from the norm or attempted their own style. I was tired of the uniform style that even Asgardian art had to follow. It didn't surprise me that much of Loki's collection was from authors that resided in Iceland. 

                With a sigh I memorized the page I was working on and set down the book. I hurried through the halls back down to the kitchens, I was so preoccupied with scheming how to eat lunch without the matron catching me not working that I didn't notice somebody else heading my way in the hallway until I had already collided with them. I smashed straight into their chest, sending me careening backwards, I would have fallen back onto my behind if the person hadn't caught me before I fell. 

                "Oh I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention--" I finally looked up and realized who I had collided with. Loki smiled at me, his arms still around me. 

                "No need for apologies, I've actually been missing our encounters." His smile was genuine, warm. Yet I felt nothing but wariness for him. He hadn't reacted badly to being turned down, but I still wasn't sure of his intentions. 

                I smiled back politely, gently pulling myself out of his grasp. "Thank you, your highness." Was all I could think of saying. My cheeks were pink, I was still a bit flustered to have shown off my clumsiness so spectacularly. 

                "I know it's only been a few days, but have you finished the book yet? I am so looking forward to discussing it with you." He hadn't forgotten then. I wondered why he was so preoccupied with discussing a book with me. It was further cementing my theory that the prince might be a bit lonely.

                "I'm almost done with it, sire. My apologies, I usually finish books quite quickly." I wondered how much longer until the matron came searching for me.

                Loki cocked his head. "If you don't mind me asking, what's different about this one then?" 

                I hesitated, silently chastising myself for unnecessary things I'd have to tell the prince. "Oh, well. I am so very grateful for the... opportunity you've given me. Sincerely. However, until we can find another scullery maid to replace me I must also continue those duties in addition to the ones I do for you." He stared at me blank faced, I wondered if I had said too much. Maybe I bored him.

                "So, I'm to understand that even though I meant to reward you, you are being  _punished_ for a promotion?" He asked. I blanched, worrying what the consequences of this would be. Oh the matron would whip me if he said anything to her.

                "Oh, sire it's not an issue for me." I tried to think of something rightfully noble to say. "I'm  _honored_ to be serving the royal family, in any way I can." The words made me feel slightly sick. Sure, it was an honor to be serving in the royalty of Asgard's hall. Yet this was the same family that had invaded my country, caused me to be enslaved as a child.

                Loki raised an eyebrow. "I think it is important then, that we are not understaffed. Especially if the serving people who serve the royalty directly are so worn out they look like they'll keel over any moment." I looked down at my feet, I couldn't look that terrible, could I? "I'll have it ensured we are adequately staffed by tomorrow." He said with finality. I nodded, keeping my gaze on the floor. The matron was definitely going to beat me, it seemed like I had just complained to the prince about my own petty problems. 

                "And," He added, I forced myself to look up at him. "Feel free to spend as much time as you like reading in my rooms, I'm quite excited to find another book lover in this castle." He winked and strode down the halls towards his rooms. Sighing at my impending doom, I headed back to the kitchens.

***

                The matron didn't end up killing me, however she certainly wasn't happy after having the steward come and personally review the staffing situation. I was grateful the prince had sent him, as my name wasn't mentioned as the source of finding out about the shortage. However the matron was still in a mood for the rest of the day. I helped scrub dishes before dinner, then returned to the prince's rooms to have his fires lit and ready before he returned for the night. I had already finished everything, even put coals in the bedwarmer and set it in the prince's bed for when he went to sleep. I was performing my duties  _exceptionally_ well in my opinion.

                I didn't mean to get enwrapped in the book, but I was  _almost_ done and at least I could escape the matron's moods up here. I was sitting cross legged by the fire when Prince Loki came stumbling in to the room. I looked up sharply, my hand on the last page. Loki was staggering around and I realized with a jolt that the prince was  _shockingly_ drunk. Uncomfortable, I wondered if I should attempt to flee before he noticed me. He was making his way towards his bedroom, but he kept crashing into bookshelves.

                Frozen, I tried not to move until he got past me. I could hear him angrily mumbling under his breath. However when he was only feet away he noticed me. His eyebrows furrowed and I wondered if I had somehow angered him.

                "And here she is, not even a maid will choose me." He said with a growl, advancing on me. I shrank into the chair. This was bad. "I've known all my-my life you know, that Thor was the favorite." Loki hiccuped, I had no idea what to do. He towered over me, he took a swig of the bottle I had only just noticed and wiped his mouth sloppily with the back of his hand. I must have stayed up reading far later than I realized. He was  _smashed_.

                "I can deal with that. But then the pig-headed brute tries to tell  _me_ \--tell  _me **my**  _responsibilities. As if he's already king and the boss of me!" He threw a hand up, and I flinched. "And my father-my father actually takes his side! Tells me  _I'm_ lazy and need to do more than read-as if all I do is sit around and read all day?" He scoffed. "Now I'm to train like a lowly squire in the mornings, as if I haven't already had swordsmanship training-as if I wasn't in the gods damned  _war_ \--" He had slowly turned during his rant. With his back to me I carefully pulled myself out of the chair, maybe I could quietly leave the room, leaving him to his privacy?

                I had gotten to my feet when suddenly he whirled back around, his eyes flaming with fury as if I'd smacked him. 

                "Oh now you want to leave too? I'm sorry,  _slave_ have I bored you?" His voice had risen with his temper, now directed at me. I shrank back, my back hitting one of his bookshelves. I held the book I was reading up to my chest, as if that could save me from his fury. His lip curled when he noticed the book in my arms. 

                "Oh sure, now you're going to be taking my stuff, huh?" He reached forward and ripped it out of my grasp, turning and throwing against the wall so hard the thud caused a few books to topple out of a nearby bookshelf. I winced, trying to make myself as small and unnoticeable as possible. "You think because I find you attractive that you have  _any_ right to-to..." I didn't dare remind him that it was him who told me to read. Actively encouraged it, actually. 

                Then he burst forward, catching me and forcing his lips onto mine. I emitted some strange, high pitched noise in surprise. Strengthened by my daily haul of firewood and materials up the long stairs, I was able to shove him off myself effortlessly. He stumbled back, almost tripping over himself. After finding his balance his gaze snapped to mine.

                "I don't think you get it, Leanna." Loki said, his voice low but dangerous. I gulped, trying to further push myself into the bookshelf as he readvanced. "You're not my brother, you're not the king. You're nobody." I winced as he neared, my stomach had tied itself in knots as I desperately prayed he was not saying what I thought he was. "I can do whatever I want." He said, confirming my worst fear. "Why not make it good for yourself, and kiss me?" His voice had gone breathy, he tipped his head next to mine. A small smirk was playing on his lips. I gulped, staring up at him.

                "Sire, you're drunk--" He whirled around and threw his bottle. Smashing it against the wall. I flinched again, but tried to maintain my courage. He turned back around. "Please sire," I whispered, my eyes searching his for that kindness I thought I knew. "We should each just... go to bed." 

                Finally, he smiled and nodded. I felt the air whoosh out of me in relief and I physically sagged with it. Then suddenly he was grabbing me by the arm and dragging me into his bedroom. "You're absolutely right, Leanna." He said, smugness filling his voice. "Let's go to bed."

                I grabbed at his hand, trying to detach it from myself. Strange noises kept emitting from me as my terror grew. I wasn't sure that if I screamed for help that anyone would come anyway. He was right, I was nothing. I had no power to escape this situation. 

                "Please, please, I don't--I can't, let me go!!" I resorted to begging, my frantic pleas were ignored. He held me by the wrist and swung me onto the bed. I landed with a plop and I tried to hop off but he caught my ankle and held me down. He climbed over me, his breath was hot on my face, he stank of wine and mead and I winced, turning my face away from him. 

                "This can be good for you" He reminded me, starting to push my skirt up, my breathing increased further until I started to hyperventilate under him, frantically I gasped for air as I heard him mess around with his pants. His alcohol induced clumsiness made it a messy affair, I reached out a hand and groped for something, anything. Maybe not even to escape the situation, but to find a lifeline. Maybe I was reaching for my dead mother's hand, maybe I was reaching for the gods themselves. 

                As if answering a prayer, I felt something from the upturned cover. Our struggles had made a mess of the well-made bed and I felt my hand grasp the cool handle of the bedwarmer. Loki finally unclasped his pants and was reaching up my skirt again. I let my instincts take over and swung the bed warmer up and over so it hit him square in the back of the head with a loud CLANG!

                He collapsed on top of me.  _I am so dead._ I wriggled out from underneath him, breathing heavily. I looked about, scared I had a witness to see me attack the prince. It didn't matter that he was attacking me, I could be hung for this. Put in the gallows, imprisoned for the rest of my days...

                But there were no witnesses besides me and the unconscious prince. I stood there for a moment, still trembling from the fear of what almost happened. I bit my lip, a plan popping into my head. 

                It was the only alternative I had. Quickly, incase he woke up, I hauled the prince's body up further the bed against the pillows. I pulled the covers over him and set the bedwarmer back in its rightful place by his feet. I scampered into the other room and picked up the pieces of the bottle he'd thrown and put it by his bed, but not where he'd step on it. If all went like I hoped, the prince would wake up and assumed he'd passed out in his bed. 

                Not wanting to risk him waking up earlier than I planned I hurried out of his rooms. Unfortunately, in my haste, I had forgotten to pick up the book he'd thrown.  _The Orkineyinga Saga_ lay open on the floor, out of place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	3. Gifts of Apology (Gifts of Manipulation?)

                 I was in a horrific mood the next day. Partly due to my anxiety at my possible arrest at any moment. I had tossed and turned all night on my pallet in the servant's quarters. I was ready for the guard to burst in at any moment and arrest me for attacking the prince. By the time I had arisen to start the kitchen fires I was rigid with a new anxiety, facing the prince again. 

                 I could blame his aggression on the drunkenness, maybe. But he wasn't just aggressive, he wasn't just shouting or complaining about things he may not have said if he wasn't so intoxicated. No, he had attempted to rape me. He would have, if I hadn't been able to fight him off. The man of the house a the farm I had worked at had gotten drunk almost every night. Sure, he might have been a little more angry and combative than usual, but he never, ever tried to assault me in the way Loki had. The fact of the matter was that an assailant is not made from intoxication, just the intoxication takes away any sober hesitations. Loki had wanted to assault me, and he had his chance last night.

                 I stalled as much as I could in the kitchens that morning. Ida looked at me quizzically as I dramatically complained I couldn't start the fires that morning. She came over to help me and I quickly changed tactics and complained of a head cold. The matron, able to sniff out any laziness was on me in an instant.

                 She pressed the back of her hand to my forehead and I hoped bending over the coals would make my head clammy and sweaty like a person with an illness. Her eyebrows furrowed and she appraised me for a moment. I kept my fists by my sides, praying she would send me back to bed and I could wait another day before having to face the prince.

                 "You don't feel sick." She said coldly, eyeing me up and down. I had never feigned an illness before, and I knew she would start wondering why now I would try to get out of work. But Ida was at my side to my rescue.

                 "She was up all night, matron. I could hear her tossing and turning for hours." Ida turned to me, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly, but with her back to the matron she gave me a look that told me I was not off her hook. I'd have to explain later. "If Leanna doesn't feel well I fear we might all come down with something soon if it spreads." 

                 The matron looked us both over again, an eyebrow cocked.

                 "I'll do her extra duties today." Ida said, my eyes widened and I whirled to her, stunned by her kindness. The matron acquiesced, but sent me a stern look.

                 "Alright then, if that's settled off to bed before you make the rest of us sick." She shooed me off, I obediently nodded my thanks and left for the servant's quarters. I looked over my shoulder and mouthed "thank you" at Ida. I hoped my genuine gratefulness showed in my eyes, but she only shrugged as if it was no problem.

                 I curled up on my pallet, relieved to have effectively avoided the prince for a day. As I closed my eyes I was jolted with a sudden thought, had Elise been "sick" for a similar reason to mine? Was I not the first maid Loki might have assaulted (or attempted to)? 

                 I hadn't seen Elise since I'd replaced her. I hadn't even considered, so overwhelmed by my new duties and then all the impending drama that I'm ashamed to say she didn't even cross my mind.

                 Exhaustion crashed over me like a wave, I hadn't slept at all the night before. I resolved to speak with her as soon as I got some sleep. My mother always told me to not have important conversations until you have a fresh mind, a fresh outlook.

***

                 "Leanna,  _Leanna_!" I was snapped back into consciousness by a hand pulling at my shoulder. Without thinking I screamed and shoved myself away, my thin blanket pulled up to my chin. Then I realized it was only Ida that stood before me. 

                 "Oh, Ida. You scared me half to death." I said, shaking my head and pressing a hand to my heart. Ida cocked an eyebrow at me, she knew something was up.

                 "Prince Loki gave me these to give to you, he said something like make sure she finishes these by tomorrow." Ida handed me a couple of books. I ignored the pang in my chest from hearing his name and took them from her. It was some Norse legends, which I actually did look forward to reading. I wistfully brushed my fingers over the golden letters of the title. 

                 I then set it down and lifted the other. Of course it was  _The Orkineyinga_   _Saga_. I felt myself sadly smile, at least I'd have time to finish it. I glanced up at Ida, who was watching me examine the books. 

                 "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I feigned innocence.

                 "I don't know what you mean--"

                 Ida cut me off by lifting her hand. "Don't play games with me, Lea. You  _never_ try to get out of work. It's something I really admire about you. Even with your extra duties you never complained." My gaze averted as I remembered I had indeed complained, to the prince himself!

                 "Something has to be going on, you can tell me, I promise." My lips tightened, I didn't know what to say. It's not like I could accuse the prince of assaulting me. Especially since I'd have to explain why he wasn't successful either. 

                 "Nothing, Ida. I just don't feel well today is all." I couldn't look at her. Ida huffed, obviously not believing me. I ignored her and opened up  _The Orkineyinga_ , thinking maybe if I pushed her away she'd stop pressing for information. Information that would only endanger her and me.

                 When I opened the book a small piece of paper slipped out. I picked it up, curious. 

                  _My dearest Leanna._ It read.  _I was so sorry to hear that you were not feeling well today. I was hoping you'd finish the book and we could finally have something to discuss. As I've said on numerous occasions I've been longing for a reading partner._   He was longing for more than a reading partner.  _Maybe if you're feeling better you can come to my chambers tonight, no work necessary. I give you the week off, but I still wish to see you each night._ My stomach dropped at having to see him.  _No need to worry, the bedwarmer will be safely out of reach this time._

                 I dropped the piece of paper, my blood ran cold. He knew. He remembered or--I looked down at the book I was holding. Or maybe I had left behind a couple of clues that suggesting more than him just falling asleep on his bed. I swallowed nervously, my fingers twitching. I would have to see him tonight, and possibly explain myself. Or--I gulped--he might want to finish what he started.

                 I looked up at Ida, my mind racing. "What time is it?" I asked. 

                 "About 3. You've been sleeping for hours, dear. Why, what's wrong?" I shook my head, I couldn't get her involved. 

                 Ida knelt in front of me, reaching out to steady my shoulders as my breathing quickened. I needed a plan, I couldn't let this happen! Ida tipped my chin up so I was looking at her. Her blue eyes were crinkled with worry.

                 "Lea, please tell me what's wrong. I won't tell a soul, I promise." I could only stare at her, still trying to breathe normally and get a grasp on some smidgen of a plan. Some way to escape-- _escape_.

                 I hesitated. "You promise you won't tell anyone?" Ida nodded firmly.

                 "I promise my mother's life on it." She said, leaning back and placing her hands in her lap. I took a deep breath.

                 "The prince is going to try to hurt me. I need to leave, before tonight." Ida's eyes widened.

***

                 Saying I was going to leave and actually figuring out  _how_ to leave are two very different things. Sure, I had felt self-empowered for all of two seconds before it dawned on me that I may have a "job" at the palace, but I was still technically a slave. I wasn't  _allowed_ to leave, unless of course I was sold. I doubted that was a possibility, especially in a few hours before I would be inevitably be called upon. 

                 Prince Loki might have allowed me to thwart him once, but I doubted he would again. 

                 I had thought him kind, if not a little lonely. The lonely part was decidedly correct, however his entitlement super-ceded any kindness I had imagined. He had decided I was smart enough and possibly attractive enough to be his mistress, I suppose it hadn't crossed his mind that I wouldn't be interested. Or at least, make that clear.

                 Ida and I came up with a plan, despite the odds. I would escape with the food supply, like a sack of potatoes, and have to figure out what to do from there after I'd made it out of the capital. I doubted my old master would be interested, considering he sold me to the palace since I "acted so high and mighty all the time". The chance of them taking me in as a fugitive was even smaller.

                 But I'd have to worry about that later. Getting out of Loki's reach was the upmost priority.

                 I had to hurry through the halls to another wing of the palace where the shipments were taken in. I couldn't risk the matron seeing me out of bed, or really anybody for that matter. Ida would distract the guards and I'd slip into the wagon and hide until they left. It was a shaky plan, to be sure, but it was the best we could come up with.

                 Ida didn't ask any questions. Either she didn't want to know, or could guess as well and wanted to be spared the details. I didn't blame her, I was grateful at her willingness to help, even though we had barely known one another for two months. I would add her to my prayers to the gods for sure, she deserved a blessed life. 

                 I reached out a hand to touch the cool stone of the walls of the hallway. Torches were posted every couple of feet, they barely illuminated the cold interiors. Something I had always considered slightly eerie, but I suppose as I prepared for this to be my last time in the palace I could see their own individual beauty. Simple. Other areas of the palace were covered in tapestries and murals and portraits and seemed out of place almost. A castle doesn't need any extra decorum to be beautiful, it's majestic on its own. People worked tirelessly to lay the stone of this very hallway, that in itself could be celebrated.

                 I ducked my head as another servant hurried past me. They didn't even look my way, so wrapped in whatever task they were performing. I wondered for them, how long they'd been here, if they'd live here their whole lives. Forced to live in a tiny room with dozens of other people when there are countless unoccupied rooms. Deemed unworthy simply because they weren't lucky enough to be born into royalty or nobility.

                 Loki had wanted to discuss literature with me. If he'd had the chance I don't think he would have appreciated my opinions very much. How can we read endless sagas and histories about heroes when he could have a possible hero serving his wine? Is a hero born or created by circumstance?

                 I wonder, if his intentions had been different, if I could have swayed him. If maybe I might have eventually fallen for him. Before the past couple of days I certainly had admired him. Why couldn't he have been kind like I had thought? Why couldn't he have been better than the stereotype of entitled royalty? I suppose so many could be so much more, if they escaped the bonds of what they think a person of their status or class should be. A much better world to live in, I think.

                 I turned a corner and saw the large alcove where people were bustling with packages and boxes of produce. I pressed myself against the wall and searched for Ida. I spotted her chestnut hair as she argued with a guard about something. I inched closer, trying to hear. We hadn't come up with a signal, per se, yet I knew she'd eventually explode enough that she'd distract everyone's attention. A couple of servants stared at her, eyes wide.

                 I was struck with the realization that she'd get into trouble for this incident. That I was letting her take a hit for me to escape and never see her again. She might be beaten for this. Even sold. A job she had given up so much for, for her mother. And here I was, asking her to throw it all away.

                 Plus she was working in Prince Loki's chambers. I hadn't even considered that he might take an interest in her as well. My blood ran cold. Would he realize she'd been the one to help me leave? Would he punish her for that? Use her instead?

                 I swallowed dryly as her voice began to rise, almost shouting. Could I do this? Could I risk her for my own safety? Was it selfish to have someone else do this for me?

                 I weighed my options, I could crash through and pull her away before she did anything drastic. I could try... I could try to come up with something else. Maybe we could escape together?

                 I felt a presence at my shoulder and I froze as a hand wrapped around my elbow.

                 "I didn't think you would be out of bed already, the servants have been whispering about how  _ill_ you've been all day." Loki's voice warmed my ear. I gulped, not daring to face him. 

                 "I-I felt like getting some fresh air." I spat out, my hands clenching at my sides. Loki chuckled, an empty sound. Ida threw up her hands and turned around in a show of anger, as she turned she caught sight of me with Loki. Her face paled, I shook my head slightly.  _Please don't react, don't draw his attention_. Ida stoically turned back around, saying something else to the guard before spinning on her heel and stalking out. She didn't look my way again, thankfully.

                 "Come. You've impressed me with your... work ethic. I'd like you to be my new attendant." I closed my eyes, his body was pressed against my side, his breath hot on my neck.

                 "Oh, that's much too... generous. Your majesty." I said weakly, my mind racing for a new plan, a new escape. An attendant would be with him almost all hours of the day. Prince Loki was infamous for dismissing his attendants, and never having one for more than a few days at most. Then again, they'd always been men. 

                 "Nonsense. I'll see you at dinner, the steward will help you get suited to your new... accommodations." My lip trembled, he ran a finger along my arm then swept away. I put a hand on the wall to keep myself steady. Of course he knew, of course he somehow knew I'd tried to leave. I'd underestimated his entitlement, it was more like desperation. He didn't plan on losing a new toy. He'd keep me all to himself, until he grew bored and found something new to play with. The only collateral was me, and he'd made it clear he didn't care about that.

***

                 I followed the steward into Loki's chambers, my fear growing. I had assumed I was just being upgraded to fancier quarters, but maybe he was showing me new aspects to my duties. The steward pushed aside a tapestry, revealing a door behind. He opened it and gestured inside. I followed him, panic welling inside me. A tiny room with a bed in the corner, a small table, and a dusty coat rack greeted me. 

                 "I'll be sleeping in... his rooms?" I asked, looking up at the steward, trying not to let my trepidation show. He shrugged, placing some heavy dresses in my arms. 

                 "An attendant needs to be available at all times. Consider yourself lucky, most don't have a room for themselves." He glanced at me, distaste showing on his features. He must think I had pushed for this, that I had slept with the prince to be higher level. I couldn't blame him, I knew how it looked. "The other attendants will help you at dinner, try not to let your inexperience show tonight. It will embarrass us all." Never mind, I could blame him. He was an ass. "Here's the receipt for the new dresses. You can pay it out of your salary until they're paid off." I hefted the dresses onto one arm and took it from him.

                 My jaw dropped at the numbers on the page. "I'll-I'll never be able to pay this off!" I exclaimed, looking up at him in shock. "Isn't there something more affordable or... even  _achievable_ available?" The steward just shrugged again, indifferent.

                 "The prince requested you be outfitted with the best, keep your head down and be grateful." Was all he offered. He instructed me on what dresses to wear for which event and left. 

                 I turned in a circle around the small room, too incredulous to even have emotions anymore. I reached up and clutched my hair. This was crazy. He didn't even know me and already he had effectively possessed me. I would never be able to pay it off, leaving me in his service--forever. I was already paying to buy myself back from the palace. Now I'd never be able to.

                 Plus he'd separated me from everyone else, taken away my time from anything else. He'd removed me from... Ida. He was isolating me, he was making sure I knew that I thwarted him in the past, and now I'd never have the chance to again.

                 I collapsed onto the bed and rubbed my face. One thing at a time. I'd have to take this one step at a time. An opportunity would arise, I had to have faith. 

                 I pushed myself onto my knees and prayed. Then I dressed for dinner. He wanted to possess me, but I was smart. I was strong. He could "buy" me, but he couldn't control me. I'd prove it.

                 "You chose the wrong woman." I whispered, smoothing my gown and checking my appearance in the mirror. "I've faced much worse, and a spoiled boy with an inferiority complex is  _nothing_ to what I've gone through."  _And,_ I silently added,  _you'll come to regret it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. Not so Much a Fly on the Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many triggers in this chapter, be warned.

             Preparing dinner was a whirlwind of disgusted servants giving me vague instructions as they passed by. I tried my best to assist everyone, setting up plates and the banquet, but I seemed to always be in the way. Flustered I took a bottle of wine from one of the footmen and elected refilling the prince's cup to be my sole task. The other servants didn't seem to notice and we filed into the hall together. I followed a pointed nod from one of the servants and stood against the wall as courtiers entered and took their seats. 

             My breath caught as the prince entered, speaking animatedly with a warrior with curly red hair. I couldn't tell if he was angry or just enthusiastic. I suppose I was never actually good at reading him. The warrior was short with a long beard, his axes still on his back even though it was dinner. I wonder if it was impertinent to bring a weapon into a dining hall, or perhaps a sign that he was an important person. Back in Eyvindara only the royalty wore weapons into common spaces, it was considered rude (almost threatening) for anyone else to. Maybe in such a warlike country of Asgard it was more normalized. I watched Loki carefully and noted he wore two daggers at his sides.

             The crown prince Thor entered, I had only seen him briefly, stomping around the hallways. A hammer that shone blue in the dim light of the braziers strapped to his back. His huge form almost didn't seem to fit the chair, as he sat next to the head of the table. He nodded to a couple of courtiers as Lady Sif entered. The warrior princess. She swept in, an elegant gown on but a long sword strapped at her belt. I watched her sit next to Thor, sending him a warm smile before taking a sip of her wine. She had earned a lot of respect in the war against Eyvindara, I admired her for rising against all odds. But how could I truly look up to someone that had caused my people to be enslaved? Who had murdered the queen while the man next to her had stabbed the king after he had witnessed his wife die and his children perish in the fire they had set on his summer house?

             In my opinion, there had been nothing legendary about the assault on Eyvindara. Attacking during the festivities of the summer,  waiting until the royal family had left to their summer farm, instead of the safety of their castle. But Asgard was infamous for their merciless warfare. Memories of fleeing through the woods, as the screams of my family echoed behind me hit me with a pang. I blinked, trying to push the memories away. It was foolish to dwell on the past, this was my reality. I needed to focus on the future, on  _my_ future.

             The Asgardians stood as the King Odin and Queen Frigga entered. I held my breath as I watched them take their seats, Odin nodding to everyone to begin eating. The servants stepped forward and already began refilling wine and water goblets. I turned my attention back to the prince. He lifted a finger and I approached, filling his goblet. He turned his head up at me and sent me a wolfish smile, I forced myself not to react.

             "This dress suits you much better, with more finery you look as if you could belong at this very table." Loki said, lifting his goblet to me. I returned his smile with a small curtsy, not letting any actual emotion cross my face.

             "Thank you, my Lord." I said stoically and stepped back to the wall, not letting the conversation continue. He didn't notice or maybe even care, and turned back to the man he was chatting with.

             Prince Thor cleared his throat and stood. The hall fell silent immediately, as if a cloak had been draped. They all watched him, eyes shining in admiration. Except Prince Loki, who leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.  _Petty, so petty._

             "A toast!" He cried, lifting his goblet. Sif smiled and tucked an escaped lock of hair behind her ear before raising her goblet as well. "To my father, King Odin! For not only directing us to victory after victory, but being strong enough to hold that territory. Asgard has grown richer and stronger and will only continue to do so as our brothers in Iceland head out into the unknown. To King Odin, the all-father!" Everyone raised their glasses and chanted "hear, hear!" 

             Thor sat back down in his chair, looking pleased. My mind wandered, explorations from Iceland? The all-father himself stood next, if not a bit shakily. His once-warrior like physique now battled his ever racing age. What kind of king would Thor be? Would it be an "exploration" from Iceland, or yet another slaughtering?

             "Thank you, my son." King Odin said, nodding to Thor. Thor retorted with an ear-splitting grin. I pursed my lips,  _such impropriety in the halls of Asgard._ I eyed the women who sat at their sides, hands neatly folded in their laps.  _At least, only from the men._ "It is true that the Norse are facing new worlds, but all this splendor and wealth should not be solely attributed to me." Loki visibly straightened in his seat. I bit my tongue, I had only been here for minutes but I was well aware he was going to be disappointed from whatever praise he thought he was about to receive.

             "To the mighty Thor! Who now leads these glorious campaigns." A few shouts echoed throughout the hall. Loki slumped back into his chair, his gaze going up to the ceiling. Surely, he didn't expect the all-father would boast about him? Legends were not told about Loki, whose main weapon was cunning and trickery. His knife more likely to be sent into your back than in your front, a true heroic death. His stories were whispered in caution, the boldest of them saying he had no hopes to ever be in Valhalla, if he continued to fight like a coward.

             I had ignored those stories, originally. But I certainly couldn't deny now that had shown me no bravery. He'd rather trap me, than face rejection.

             "I am so proud of my son, and I cannot be more grateful for a mightier heir." Odin smiled kindly at his son, a moment of genuine warmth and love. Perhaps not love, more like a master proud of a trained dog. Thor grinned back, Loki took a deep swig of his drink and gestured me over. 

             I caught sight of the Steward, who was watching me closely.  _Sorry, sir. Looks like I'll embarrass you after all._ With clumsy fingers my grip on the handle lessened, and I spilled half of the wine onto Loki's dress tunic before catching it again. Only a few nearby courtiers saw, as the rest were joyously toasting Thor. But Loki jumped up with a yell, and the hall fell silent.

             "You clumsy fool!" Loki shouted, grabbing at his shirt and pulling it away from his chest. I set the wine on a nearby table and grabbed a towel, attempting to dry him off. He snatched the towel from me and eyed me hatefully. 

             "My deepest apologies, my Lord." I said calmly, I could practically feel the steward staring daggers into the side of my head. "I fear that this position might take some getting used to, I am so unaccustomed and inexperienced after all." Loki's eyes narrowed, I batted my eyelashes innocently.

             "Dear, go change." Frigga said, shooing him away with a flippant hand. 

             "That's what happens when you promote a scullery maid." Sif murmured, crossing her arms. Thor sent her a look but she only shrugged. Prince Loki huffed, but then smiled at his audience.

             "Well I suppose I must bid you all an unexpected goodnight then. My dear brother, try not to drink all the wine until I get back." A few people chuckled, but Thor didn't seem to notice the intended jab and let out a bark of laughter. Loki raised his eyebrows at me. "Come, I will need a fresh shirt, won't I? And that's what my  _attendant_ is for." He raised a hand to everyone and we walked out.

***             

             I hurried to keep up with his long strides through the corridors, my anxiety growing as we neared his door. My mind wrestled with whether I should apologize again, or if I should push my luck and continue rebelling against him. Already my resolve was failing as I dreaded what he had in store for me.  _Strength._ I reminded myself,  _I am strong. He will not break me._

             I barely looked at the guards as he threw open the doors to his room dramatically. I paused before the door, taking a moment to catch my breath and compose myself before entering also. I followed him into the bedroom, impending panic swelling inside me like a balloon but I pushed it down it with fervor. This would not be the end of me. I would make it out of this, eventually. I had to have faith.

             I went to the wardrobe, pulling out a few spare tunics to show him as he angrily tore off his stained shirt. His eyes were like green fire as he looked at me, chest heaving. I swallowed, before lifting a deep red shirt for him to look at.

             "This one would hide any future stains, my lord." I said, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. He didn't crack a smile.

             He stalked towards me, ripping the tunic from my grasp. I couldn't stop myself from yelping and jumping back. He grabbed my chin, hauling me towards him. 

             "I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here, Leanna. Prove to everyone you shouldn't be in this position? Fine. You can do that, I'll have you demoted to my  _whore_ if you don't like this. Would that be more fitting, hm?" He growled, his fingers tightening on my chin with every word. I whimpered and managed to shake my head just a smidgen. 

             "Then  _enough_ of the disobedience." He threw me sideways and I crashed to the floor, my forearms taking the brunt of my weight and I cried out. I pushed myself to my feet and whirled to face him, not wanting him out of my sight. My blonde hair I had put up into a bun had began falling out, pieces covering my eyes. "I am doing you a great  _favor_." 

             I sniffed, pushing the hair out of my eyes. "Sire, with all due respect, I am well aware of why you've elevated my status." I held myself up with as much confidence as I could muster. My elbows still stinging from my fall. "We both know full and well what type of  _favor_ you'd like in return."

             His eyes narrowed before he scoffed. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you to tell me that I've taken an interest in a pious woman? Or did you intend to weasel more out of me before I took my reward?" I gasped, taking a step back.

             "For the gods' sake, sire, I didn't  _intend_ anything from you!" I lifted my hands in exasperation. "I thought you wanted to be friends--nothing more!" 

             Loki chuckled, shaking his head. " _Friends_? Oh my dear Leanna, why in the world would I want to be  _friends_ with you?" That hurt me, for reasons I cannot say. I looked away, blinking furiously. Then I looked back at him, nothing but icy distaste on my face.

             "You're right. Perhaps I overestimated your character." His face clouded. He strode towards me in two steps and backhanded me so hard I fell to the floor again. I let out a small yelp but this time I kept to the floor.

             "You will not speak to  _your prince_ in that matter!" Loki shouted, reaching down and yanking me up by the hair. I forced myself not to make any noises as pain thrashed through my skull. I didn't dare say what I thought,  _you are not **my** prince._ That wasn't just speaking back to him, that could be treason.

             "You had better watch your tongue from here on out, Leanna." Loki warned releasing me abruptly. I stumbled back but managed not to fall again. My hair was fully loose as I faced him, still fully intent on defiance. "Or your dear friend Ida, will pay for what she had planned today."

             The breath whooshed out of me in an instant. My eyes went as wide as saucers and I put a hand to my chest as I struggled to breathe. "Y-You wouldn't." I said, dumbfounded by his cruelty. For planning an escape for a slave... that could very well result in a death sentence. Because it was technically stealing from the king himself. 

             Loki only smiled. "I would." He tilted his head at me, appraising me.

             "Remove your clothes." He commanded, sending me a snide smile. A new type of terror crept over me and I felt tears welling to my eyes. Remembering his threat I shuddered, with trembling fingers I reached the threads of my bodice and untied it. I wasn't able to look at him, smugly watching me so I squeezed my eyes shut.  _I will not let him ruin me._ I repeated to myself, although a small part of me feared this would. The prince reached forward when I finished untying and pushed my sleeves away from my shoulders, causing the dress to fall to the floor. I was left in my slip, shivering. 

             "Now the rest." He goaded, voice taunting. I bit my lip, hard, but did as he asked. The chill hit my skin as soon as it too fell to the floor. He sucked in a breath, I dared peek up at him. He was looking me up and down, a new kind of heat to his eyes. I flinched as he reached forward and slid a cold hand over my collarbones, down between my breasts, and over my hipbone. He pulled me to him with a growl, his lips going to my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing this to all be over already as he trailed his slimy lips across my neck up to my ear.

             "Now _my_ pants, darling." He whispered into my ear. I shivered, my fingers trembling as I reached forward and clumsily undid his belt. It fell to the floor with a clang, as his daggers ricocheted off the stone. I could feel his bulge as I unclasped his pants, he pushed them off hurriedly, dragging me by the elbow over to the bed. I absentmindedly wondered if I should have grabbed for one of his daggers instead.

             "I have waited, so  _long_ for this." He said fervently, pushing me onto the bed and climbing on top of me. I let myself lie there and resolved to stare at the wall.  _You can get through this, you **will** get through this._ He peppered kisses across my torso, pawing at my breasts and already moaning slightly. I took a deep breath as he fumbled lower. He let out a grunt of frustration and spat in his hand before continuing his plight. I squeezed my eyes shut as he shoved at my entrance. One of his hands left my breast and grabbed my chin again, forcing me to face him.

             "I want you to look in my eyes as I take you. As I make you  _mine_." He said, still pushing. My lip trembled but I wouldn't give this monster the satisfaction of seeing me cry. 

             " _This_ will not make me yours." I spat out, he faltered. "Only giving myself to you.  _Choosing_ you, would make me yours." He lifted a brow, then pushed into me so suddenly I howled in pain as he threw his head back in pleasure. 

             "Oh you're so gods damned  _tight_ , darling." Loki cried, grabbing my hips with both hands to meet his rapid thrusts. I bit my lip from continuing to cry out in pain and tried to focus on the wall as he tore my world apart. I balled my hands into fists, trying to concentrate on the bite of my nails into my palm instead of...

             And so the prince fucked me. Violently, with continuous curses and such vile words that I wished I could cover my hands with my ears and scream until the world exploded.  _This will not ruin me_ , I reminded myself, a tear escaping my eye despite everything. But I worried, as I felt something in my very core, all the way to my heart crack, that I was wrong.

             His thrusts grew more desperate and sporadic before he finished with a yell. As if his sheer volume could make his crime into something more masculine. This was a coward's punishment, I decided. The prince is a coward. Loki rolled onto his side, taking a few minutes to catch his breath. Then he eyed me, no emotion on his face.

             "Get out." He said, and I fled, snatching my dress as I hurried to my small room. I let the door slam shut behind me and threw myself onto my bed, finally allowing myself to sob. I clenched my blankets in my fists as I mourned for myself. I cried until it felt like I was empty, and as I laid there, I wondered if I was going to feel empty forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it finally happened... I've tried to keep all the tags on this story but i still had no joy doing this to Leanna. As always let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, fun fact, there is evidence that the vikings DID come to America. Just unlike the later explorers, they didn't make it back to tell the tale. You can look it up, a viking ship was found all the way in Missouri or something. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, they definitely had an outpost in Canada though! 
> 
> Triggers will only continue from here on out.


	5. Humiliation at the Elderberry Tree

             I awoke, feeling groggy and disoriented. I had fallen asleep with my arm crooked at a strange angle, as I sat up my back cracked and I winced. I rubbed my face, looking around my small room before reality dawned on me. My gaze drifted down my body slowly, my stomach clenching. I hopelessly wished it had all been some twisted, vivid nightmare. My dress was still bunched up around my upper thighs from the position I had put it on before sleeping.. I reached down and lifted it slightly, and a whimper escaped me as I noticed the bruises that dotted my thighs. 

             I shoved my dress back down and ran both hands over my head, grasping my untied hair at the back of my neck. My breath came out in ragged gasps. What could I do now? Was this to be how I spent the rest of my days here? Used and thrown away every night, until the prince lost interest or I decided to...

             I couldn't consider that option, wouldn't  _let_ myself consider that type of... _escape_ as an option. I had to stay strong. I could not let him think that this had ruined me. Not just for myself, but for so many other women I knew suffered the same fate. If men's aggression was their weapon to keep us in submission, than my refusal to be broken would be my shield. Loki had ripped away my choice, but I would not let that give him further power.

             Still, my skin crawled as the memories stormed over me in a wave. I hopped off the bed and hurried out of my room and out of his chambers. I needed to wash, I needed to scrub every touch, every kiss, every sensation of his hands on me. It was still the dead of night as I slipped through the palace corridors deep into the sorry excuse of  the servant's area. I went into the washroom, usually attended by other servants. We were only given a bucket and a few cloths to wash every day. So multiple people were necessary to douse the other with the water. I didn't care, and I didn't want anyone to see the evidence of what he had done to me.

             I pulled my dress off, I hadn't bothered to put on my underclothes after the prince had banished me to my room. I placed it on a bench next to my slippers and grabbed a bucket and a piece of rough soap. I poured it over myself, gasping at the sheer cold of it. When I had washed in the morning with the other maids, someone would always heat up the water first at the kitchens. I suppose this was why everyone washed together. 

             I did my best to ignore the chill and brutally scrubbed my skin until it felt raw. I didn't look down between my thighs, but my stomach still twisted when I scrubbed away crusted liquid. I didn't want to look down and find out if it was blood or...

             Disgust swelled inside me, and I waited for hatred to follow. Instead I felt my dinner rising up instead and I sprinted out of the washroom into the servant's privy and emptied the contents of my stomach into the pot. Despite my inner mantra of strength, a sob escaped me. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes and shuddered. Despite my vigilant and outright aggressive wash, my skin still crawled. I could still feel his touch, I could still feel the way his hands had gripped my hips, my chest. I rubbed my nose and sniffed. 

             Slowly I rose and retrieved my dress and slippers. I exited the servants' area and headed back up to the prince's quarters. I felt emotionless as I slipped back into my bed, pulling the scratchy blanket up to my chin. What do I do now? I pressed my cheek to my pillow, expecting to be overcome by another wave of devastation. But I felt nothing. Empty.  _You are nothing_ he had spat. Maybe I had decided he wouldn't ruin me, but I was growing more aware he had spoken the truth. I had no power to escape this. I had no plan, no scheme. _I am nothing_. I shut my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep, the ache in my bones my only lullaby.

***

             The next few days were like a haze. I moved as if I was in a fog. The prick of the pins that held up my hair were my only tether to reality. Loki had me several times a day, usually violently and hastily, but I did not spur him on by fighting back. I did not heedlessly plead with him. I kept silent. While I helped him change clothes or bathe he'd try to engage in conversation with me, but I would remain polite and civil. My eyes always downcast. It must have infuriated him but he did not ask me why I remained so cold and emotionless. I don't think he actually wanted to know the answer--or possibly, he already knew but did not want to be faced with it. Faced with the consequences of his own actions.

             Maybe he thought this would have a different effect on me. Perhaps this was his method of molding me into what he wanted, manipulating me. But I was not reacting the way he wanted me to. Maybe I was disappointing him, by not cowering in his presence and giving him the power he so obviously craved. I wanted to take satisfaction in that, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't feel much at all.

             After a few days of monotonous routine, Loki informed me I was to attend his sparring match. I was surprised, Prince Loki wasn't well known for his military prowess. Although, that may have been why he acted like it was so important. He didn't want to appear weak in front of the courtiers, but I wasn't sure how trickery and cunning could beat the sheer skill of all the warriors he'd most likely go against. I tried to feel excited about watching him get knocked down a peg or two, but the cynical side of me whispered he'd take out any frustrations of losing out on me. 

              As he was leaving, he hesitated at the doorway. He turned his head to look at me as I watched from the corner of the eye while shelving a few of his books. I tried to look busy, so he wouldn't linger much longer. I'd have to go out to his match soon, but I was allowed time to go and eat breakfast and take some time for myself. 30 minutes, that is.

             "Leanna." He said, his hand still resting on the metal handle. I pushed a book into its rightful place and turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. 

             "Yes, sire?" He was already cutting into my time. Of course he was. I couldn't be too angry about it though. I wasn't sure I had the energy to go to the kitchens and eat anyway, maybe he knew that. Maybe he knew I hadn't eaten much of anything for days.

             "How goes your reading? It's been a while." I inwardly let out an exasperated sigh.  _This again? He already bedded me, why act like this was his intention?_

             "I haven't, sire." I couldn't look at him. I heard him scoff.

             "Did you lie about your ability then? It's been days. If you're illiterate you might as well tell me now, it won't do much good to continue stalling." My face twisted without thinking and I looked up at him sharply.

             "No. I did not lie." My voice was steely. "I have not had much time to spend  _reading_ these past few days, sire." I said. "Nor the energy." I added, turning back to the shelf and shoving another book into place harshly. He huffed.

             "Well, try to find the time then." He ordered. I didn't turn back around so he wouldn't see the rage spelled on my face. "I'd love to see the more... intellectual side of you." I heard the door close softly after him. I dropped the rest of the books I was holding onto the nightstand and went to my room to fetch my cloak. I hesitated in the room, the books he had given me seeming taunting on the table. I stuck my tongue out at them and slammed the door behind me.

***

             Ida found me as soon as I entered the kitchens. She grabbed me by the elbow without so much as a simple "hello" and dragged me to the corner of the pantry. Stomach rumbling I grabbed a small block of cheese as she hauled me away. 

             "Where have you been?" She hissed, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening. I swallowed the bite of cheese and tipped my head.

             "What do you mean? I sleep in the prince's quarters now." Ida shook her head, huffing.

             "That's not what I mean, why haven't you come to talk to me? Are you okay? Did he... hurt you?" I took another tentative bite of my cheese, my eyes drifting to the floor. 

             "N-no." I lied, shuffling my feet. "The prince has been nothing but kind to me. I am very fortunate for my... elevated position." The words felt mechanical, empty just how I felt. Ida made a small sound of disbelief, shaking her head so violently her unbound hair whipped my shoulder.

             "You sound brainwashed, Lea. What's happened? Let me help you." I remembered what could have happened to her the last time I had let her help. I frowned and looked up at her, she couldn't be seen as close to me. That much was certain. Prince Loki loved punishing me as much as he liked to pretend his generosity. I didn't want to find out how far his cruelty could go, who he would hurt to get to me.

             "That is the truth, Ida." I swallowed, raising my head to look down my nose at her. "Perhaps you are just jealous of my promotion." My stomach twisted at the words, and I felt it lurch as her face fell into bewildered hurt. 

             "E- _Excuse me?_ " She snapped, stepping sideways so she fully cornered me. I tried to look indifferent as I took a small loaf of bread from a shelf next to me and broke it, stuffing a piece into my mouth. It was possible I hadn't eaten at all the past few days and this conversation made me want to distract myself by stuffing as much food as I could into my gullet. 

             "It's simple." I said, between mouthfuls. "I have only been here two months and I am already an attendant to one of the royal family. You are still only a scullery maid, and you have to delude yourself by thinking my advancement was due to some heinous reason other than that I am just a better worker than you." She still looked incredulous, but I needed her to dislike me. To leave me.

             "What are you  _talking_ about? A few days ago you needed me to help you  _escape_! Why the sudden shift? Are you in danger?" She reached out, touching my shoulder. With forced disgust I slapped it off of me. 

             "--Perhaps it's because you know deep down, you don't excel, that you aren't cut out for a higher status." Ida took a step backward. "After all, who would want to promote the bastard child of a whor--" She slapped me, I yelped but didn't touch my burning cheek. I watched as I lost my friend. Her eyes clouded over and her lip curled with distaste. I watched as my only friend began to hate me.

             "I don't know who you are anymore, Lea. But I hope you snap out of it, I really do." She began to walk away, but stopped, looking over her shoulder. "When you're ready to wake up and act like the woman I knew, you know where I'll be." Then she left. I let my back hit the shelves and closed my eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek. Even as I said horrible things to her, she offered her support.

             But I couldn't support her. I could only bring her pain as collateral to being friends with me. Everywhere I went I spread pain. My family died and I survived. My people died and were enslaved, and here I was complaining about being cohort to a prince. The people of Eyvindara starved under the new rule, as I feasted and slept in a warm bed each night. I put down the other half of the bread, my fingers lingering.   _I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing._ I am nothing but pain.

***

             Swords clashing met my ears as I went to the training grounds. I was careful to lift my skirts above the mud as I skirted around the fight. Prince Loki was still in battle with one of the Warriors Three, Fandral, I believe. I was growing more familiar with the members of court, putting faces to the names in the legends. I had to admit, Loki was  _fast._ His daggers seemed to blur as he dodged and spun and aimed for every opening he spotted. Fandral was powerful though, his sword whipping out and meeting Loki's crossed daggers with such force I could see Loki's arms tremble from the reverberation. 

             Both backed away and circled one another. At once they dived in again, Fandral dodging and blocking each of Loki's attacks with ease. A lethal dance, performed only to prove dominance. A pissing contest with weapons. Despite Fandral's obvious stamina, Loki had visible beads of sweat on his forehead. As he caught Fandral's sword with his daggers once again he made eye contact with me. He sneered, but Fandral had found his opportunity and elbowed Loki in the nose.

             All gasped as Loki stumbled back, Fandral caught one of his legs with an underhanded kick and Loki fell onto his arse. I lifted a hand to stifle my smile as Fandral stepped on his chest and aimed his sword at his throat.

             "And, match." He said, grinning down at Loki. Loki scowled back, ignoring the outreached hand and pushing himself to his feet. He delicately held up a hand to his bleeding nose. As Fandral turned around to smile at the crowd clapping for him Loki kicked the back of his knees. Cries of shock erupted as Fandral fell forward, Loki jumping in, his daggers flying for Fandral's back. I might have cried out too, but Fandral quickly rolled over and Loki's daggers buried themselves into the dirt. 

             Fandral stomped down on Loki's hands as he tried to pry the daggers out, his sword once more at Loki's throat. Loki flipped his hair back, glowering up at Fandral. 

             "You must not have heard me, Prince." Fandral cooed, smirking despite literally almost being stabbed in the back. "That was match." Loki sent him a sardonic smile back.

             "Yes. Good fight." He spat, taking his offered arm and lifting himself up. Fandral lifted their arms and the crowd cheered, some still looking a little wary of the devious prince in front of them.

             After a couple of seconds Loki tore his arm away and stalked towards me, his expression murderous. I looked around, wondering if there was a way I could escape. But I couldn't,  _if ever_.

             "With me,  _now_." He traipsed off, and I followed at his heels miserably. I had already suspected he would take out whatever embarrassment he felt on me. It was useless to hope it would go any other way.

             We walked a long ways from the training grounds, all the way out to a tall elderberry tree. The morning sun cut small patches of light into the grass below us as Loki began to pace, the heat of his fury seeming to rise off him in waves. I slumped against the trunk of the tree, alert of his every movement.

             Growing restless with the impending doom I would most likely face, I broke the silence. "You fought well, my lord." Maybe complimenting him would lessen his anger. He whirled towards me, seething.

             "No thanks to you, trying to distract me so I'm humiliated in front of my people." He spat, stepping forward with menace. I pushed myself further into the tree. He... He blamed  _me_? For his own ineptitude?

             "Sire, I--" He cut me off before I could say anything to deescalate the situation. 

             "Spite is not a good look on you, Leanna." He shook his head, almost as if disappointed. I blinked, trying to come up with a way to calm him down. I lowered my head, there was no point to arguing with him. No point to attempt reason.

             "You're right, my prince." I said instead, he stilled, caught off guard. "My sincerest apologies." Despite internal protests of pride, I went against my instincts and lowered myself to my knees. I dared look up at him, shock and confusion had crossed his features. I prayed I was playing this right, that I was learning his game. 

             "Well... good. I'm glad you see reason." He said after a moment, still a bit bewildered by my response. I nodded, forcing my eyes downcast, trying to be the picture of subservient. That was how he liked me, submissive.

             Suddenly his knee came up into my face, not hard enough to break my nose, but enough to surprise me. I cried out from more shock than pain and fell back into the tree. The bark scratching my back as I crashed against it. My face still throbbed and I reached up to cover it with my hands, preparing myself for another attack.

             "Well now look what you've done, you've soiled the pretty dress we've given you." Loki said with a tsk. He stepped over to examine me and tutted some more. "And look, you've even ripped it." My hands left my face as I looked down at my dress. Sure, it now had some dirt on it from kneeling, but it certainly wasn't ruined. I met his eyes in confusion, he smirked then leaned forward and grasped the collar of my dress with both hands and tore it down the middle.

             I shrieked, Loki grabbed me by the shoulder and threw me all the way down into the ground. He jumped on top of me, straddling my hips. 

             "Please, no!" I pleaded, struggling underneath him. "Please, my lord, people will see!" Despite myself, sobs had started to take over. Loki only sent me a crude smile.

             "Good, then they can all see what a lying whore you are. Trying to undermine me in public? Shame on you." He lifted my skirts and I attempted to buck him off me. He held on fast, I was no Fandral, I couldn't fight back. Suddenly he was shoving himself inside of me, still muttering disgusting things as I wept. I was overcome by the sudden wish that I could be like Lady Sif, to be able to fight and hurt any who crossed me. I longed for any power, any power at all.

             Rocks from the ground dug into my back as he thrust inside me, slowly my tears dried and I looked up at the leaves of the Elderberry tree. I watched the branches sway in the slight breeze. I counted the berries that came out in bursts of dark purple color. I touched the morning dew on the blades of grass with my finger tips. I memorized the way the sunlight filtered through the leaves. Flowers dotted the grass around me, I fantasized being able to just sit among them. To once again know the freedom of enjoying nature.

             " _Making flower crowns is easy, my dear_."  _My mother said, letting her skirt fan out around her as she patted the ground next to her. I settled, trying to swish my dress around me as gracefully as she had. It got tangled in my legs but I ignored it, happy to be able to spend time with her and not suffer playing with my brother for the day._        

              _I took her offered bouquet and watched her as she wove slender twigs and long pieces of grass together, tying it a the end in a perfect circlet._

_"Women more talented than I are able to weave the flowers in as they make the first circlet, but this way is easier." Her eyes sparkled, sending me a sly smile. I grinned back, the circlet I made was much more lopsided and weak, barely kept together. She took it from my hands and added a few more twigs, strengthening it._

_"However, this way you can add flowers wherever you like, and remove them without disrupting the whole thing." I nodded, watching her as she effortlessly added small white flowers and lavender to the crown, soon making it burst with color. With dirt encrusted fingernails I snapped the longer stems off flowers and added them to my sorry excuse of a crown. When I finished my mother lifted it, eyeing it critically. Her blonde hair, swept into a braid. I held my breath, waiting for her approval._

_"My dear, it's beautiful, you're a natural!" She said, beaming down at me and settling the crown on top of my hair. I giggled, touching it gently._

_"Should we make one for Pa?" I asked, expecting to be turned down. My mother only grinned, green eyes--that looked so much like mine--lighting up._

_"That is a **wonderful** idea, Lea." She pressed a quick kiss to my brow. "Let's make the boys something to make them feel pretty too." I laughed at that, then frowned._

_"I don't want Erik to have one though." I said, crossing my arms. My mother lowered the weeds she had gathered, tilting her head at me._

_"Are you two bickering again? What's happened, honey?" I tore up some grass, satisfied with the rough action._

_"He's mean, and he wouldn't want one anyway. He wouldn't let me play wooden swords with him and Birger because I'm just a girl." I relented my tyranny on the grass around me and crossed my arms, ready for her to chastise for participating in "boy" activities. My mother only reached over and brushed a hair out of my face, smiling._

_"Well, the only way to get out of that is to show him wrong." My head snapped up, her eyes twinkled with mischief. She stood and reached a hand out to me, I took it, stumbling slightly on my twisted dress. "Come, let me show you how to give your brother a good beating so he can remember he wouldn't exist without 'just a girl'". I grinned._

 

             The prince finished with a growl, I blinked out of my flashback. His rough hands spurred me back into my harsh reality. Loki stood up and brushed himself off, kicking my ribs slightly when I didn't jump to my feet.

             "Get up, and go change. You're embarrassing me with your.. impertinent attire." I scowled at him, unable to even pretend civility. He simply smirked at me and swept away.

             I pulled myself up, groaning at the ache in my limbs. I took a deep breath, taking a moment to drink in the sunlight before looking down to my ruined dress. I whimpered softly, he had torn it down the middle, my underclothes apparent. I was also covered with dirt and when I reached up a hand to check my hair I found twigs and grass matted into my blonde locks. There was no hope I'd make it back to the castle without being seen. I shouldn't have cared about my reputation at this point, the prince had seen to it that I had no faith I was seen other than a worthless concubine. Yet, to be visibly witnessed like this. As if I had had a careless romp with the prince outdoors, in public. 

             I'd have to face the sneers. I'd have to listen to the whispers. I'd have to be tormented by their rumors and antagonism when I already faced endless abuse from the prince. This was rock bottom, not much could make my situation worse. Would they care, if they knew? Would they feel guilty for their misgivings of my character? Did it matter?

             I pulled my dress together with the best of my ability and set on my trek back to the palace, determined despite all the odds against me to hold my head up high. Grieving for my situation would solve nothing. Feeling sorry for myself would do nothing. Complaining, would do  _nothing_.

              _I am not nothing_.  _I am more than a slave. I am **more** than "just a girl". _

             Maybe I couldn't whap the prince over the head with a wooden sword and make him cry in front of all his friends, although that was a scene I'd definitely save for my fantasies. But, there were other ways I could give him a beating.

             There were other ways where I could  **prove him _wrong_.**


	6. Wine, sire?

             Deciding to make the prince suffer and actually  _making_ him suffer are two very different things. The idea, the motivation, the  _drive_ that the decision gave me was enough to make it past the endless sneers and general animosity of everyone at the palace. Yet, when I had washed myself, put on a fresh, clean dress, I was left with nothing but an empty promise of revenge. What could I do? I was only an attendant to the least powerful member of the royal family. I had no friends,  ~~I had made sure of that~~ , and I had no palpable method to prove myself. The best I could come up with was putting poison oak in the prince's underclothes. However, I could potentially be arrested for attempting to poison the prince. The outcome would not outweigh the risks unfortunately, as much as I would like to see the prince hopping about in discomfort. 

             It came over me in a flash, as I was lost in my own thoughts at dinner. Prince Loki and Prince Thor were sitting next to one another, which was quite uncommon. Loki was already stewing because Thor was trying to be helpful by giving him pointers about sparring. I honestly thought that although Thor could act a bit condescending at times, all in all he was only trying to help his brother. It was sweet, if only his brother wasn't an egotistical twat with daddy issues.

             I gathered my courage, and approached them. Loki saw me coming and automatically lifted his goblet so I could fill it. Thor didn't even seem to notice my point as he launched into another story about overcoming many odds in a battle where he was outnumbered. He was ignorant that Loki obviously did not want to hear it.

             I swallowed nervously, I felt like a silly girl suddenly, swooning over the crown prince. But just his near proximity oozed power and strength. I closed my eyes and took a second to compose myself. To remind myself of this Prince's role in taking over my home country. To remind myself of all that power and strength he had used to slaughter innocent people for the wealth of Asgard. That he probably didn't even have an ounce of remorse about it.

             "Prince Thor, may I refill your cup?" I asked tentatively, he looked up, not realizing I had been standing there. I saw a nearby servant frown at me, I didn't usually do anything other than refill Loki's glass. Not that they had cared, I wasn't trained in the "art of serving", so it wasn't like I was allowed to do any thing else anyway.

             Thor's smile seemed to flicker as he took in my appearance. I suppose this was the first time he'd actually take a minute to look at Loki's whore. He topped his head slightly, his hair sliding over his shoulder with the movement. Then he lifted his goblet to me.

             "Ah yes, my brother's new attendant. He must bore you, he hardly goes out or does anything exciting." His words sounded cruel but he was grinning, he slapped a hand onto Loki's shoulder.

             "Oh no, your highness. He's been very good to me." Thor chuckled, winking at his brother.

             "Oh I'm sure of that. I suppose you're better with a different kind of sword, eh brother?" He laughed uproariously and Loki chuckled back, eyeing me darkly.

             I blinked, I felt uprooted by his brashness. "Well, we mostly read. Loki and I are to discuss the  _Orkinyenga_ soon." Thor made a surprised face, his hand sliding away from his brother.

             " _Reading_? That's... impressive. Well, I suppose my brother has an eye for talent. I'm not sure any of my servants are literate." Thor said, lifting his glass to me before gulping it all down at once.

             "Why thank you sire, I'm grateful to have impressed you." I dipped into a soft curtsy. Loki was still eyeing me, he knew I had some ulterior motive in mind. I fully turned away from him so I could face the crown prince. "If you like, you could join us at some point--"

             "Oh please, Leanna. Thor doesn't do much other than swing his hammer and drink away the castle's wine cellar." He chuckled into his goblet.

             Thor's eyebrows furrowed. "I do more than swing my hammer and drink." He said flatly. 

             "Oh, I've just finished another legend that was written about you, your majesty." I said, he looked away from his brother to raise his eyebrows at me. "Of course, it was only a suggestion, just I thought reading histories about other powerful jarls might interest you, sire." Thor made an interested face and nodded slowly, the wheels in his mind almost visibly turning.

             "That's not a bad idea, L--" He paused, I realized he'd forgotten my name. "Not a bad idea." He turned back in his chair, dismissing me. "Loki maybe we should get together and use some of those books to strategize." 

             Loki sent me a hateful look over his shoulder. "Or you could actually listen to my ideas at meetings. I've read hundreds of books like those, and  I can offer a lot of--" 

             Thor waved a hand. "Yes, yes. But your maid is right--"  _Attendant, you royal fool._ "Perhaps we should be spending more time together brother, if not reading then maybe I can personally give you some more pointers at training."

             Loki stiffened, and sent me another murderous glance. I flashed him an innocent smile in response. He turned back to his brother and I leaned against the wall, my work done. Sure, there wasn't much I could do to properly get back at Loki. Yet being the cause for him to have to spend more time with his brother whom he obviously loathed was satisfying. I looked over at the other Warriors Three, who leaned over each other to also now begin giving Loki pointers. I smiled inwardly,  _this is only the beginning, Prince._

***

             "Oh you spoiled, useless slut!" Loki shouted as soon we were in the safety of his bedchambers. I turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

             "What clothes would you like to wear to bed, my lord?" I asked, tipping my head and smiling sweetly. His chest heaved, and he took a menacing step forward. I flinched but didn't retreat. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear.

             "What did you think that would accomplish? You think he's  _actually_ going to come around here? To save you?" He scoffed, running a hand through his black hair. I stood my ground.

             "Oh, sire. I didn't think it would upset you. I genuinely thought Prince Thor would enjoy sharing--" Loki cut me off with a slap so hard it made my ears ring. 

             "Shut up!! Just  _SHUT UP_!" He screamed in my face, grabbing my shoulders. "Stop your incessant...  _talking_!" He shove me out of his way and I stumbled a few steps. I tried to regain my composure and swept my hair out of my face. Loki paced beside me, that wasn't good. Nothing good came out of his pacing.

             I remained silent. I may be trying to act brave, but I was also smart enough to know when not to push him over the edge. I watched him warily, out of the corner of my eye I subconsciously noted anything that could act as a weapon.  _The chair, books, books, books_...

             Loki turned on his heel and faced me, sliding a hand down his face.

             "Now I shall have to train  _every day_ for the next few weeks. Because of you. Because of whatever  _nonsense_ you're plotting." He stepped forward, his shoulders back as he looked down his nose at me. "So, take my advice, darling. Let it go. Stop. The only thing you'll accomplish is your own pain." I raised my eyebrows.

             "And how would that be? If I'm caused pain I highly doubt it's really any fault of mine." I stepped forward too, my courage was faltering but I was not going to cower in my room for the rest of my days. "That's just your excuse for abusing others. Because it's your way of taking out  _your_ own frustrations. I am not a straw dummy to be beaten, your highness."

             "Leanna, of course you're not." I looked up at him in surprise. He stepped forward, seeming almost...  _earnest_? Warm? He reached out and brushed a few more strands out of my face, he smiled. My heart was racing. What was happening?

             "You're so much less than that, dear. At least the straw dummies don't  _fucking talk back_." His hand on the back of my neck turned into a vice-like grip. I whimpered, starting to struggle to move away. 

             "You were getting tired of being the whore to a prince that isn't heir, is that right?" I shook my head furiously. "You thought if you could make up some innocent reason to bring the crown prince here you'd be able to seduce him? To escape me, hm?" 

             "No, no, I  _promise_ that was not in any way what I was doing--" He threw me sideways and I landed on the edge of the bed, my stomach colliding so hard with the edge I let out a loud "oof!". I scampered up, turning to face the prince that was only inches away from my nose. I fell backwards onto my elbows in terror. "Please, sire. I wouldn't even  _imagine_ doing such a thing--"

             He slapped me again, hard. Then he backhanded me, I felt my lip break and the coppery tang of blood fill my mouth. 

             "What did I say about talking?" He voice was low, almost a growl. He reached down and lifted me by my hair, I shrieked.

             "You'd try to leave me? When I've done nothing but give you everything you could have ever asked for?" He tossed me to the floor and I fell like a rag doll. I pressed my forehead to the cool floor and allotted to just wait until his fit was over. I couldn't calm him down, that much was for certain. All I could do was wait out the initial rage and lick my wounds later. Anything I said or did would only make it worse.

             "You're ungrateful" He kicked me in the ribs, I cried out and curled into a ball to try to protect myself. "Selfish." He was circling me, he kicked my back and I arched in pain. "Arrogant." He stomped on my leg and I screamed, feeling something crack. "And he always chooses you! After everything, everything I've done!" I realized the prince was no longer speaking about me. My world bled crimson as my leg seared with pain. "They all do! And you don't care, you've never cared! You continue to barrage me with insults and picking into  _every single thing_ I do!" Loki kicked me aside and went ot his desk, picking up a decanter of wine and pouring himself a glass. He took a deep breath to steady himself and downed it a single gulp.

             He swept his hair back again, glancing at me. My face felt puffy, I couldn't imagine the state I was in. 

             "You did this to yourself, you know. Mind your place next time." He started to walk away, but I called out to him.

 

             "Maybe, he doesn't choose you because you've let your sibling rivalry to turn you into something dark and hateful. Maybe he's noticed that." Him slapping me about must have definitely messed with my ability to gods damned filter myself. Loki slowly turned to me, his fury spilling out of him. 

             He stomped towards me, and I cringed and tried to curl in on myself again. He easily grabbed me and lifted me to my feet. I groaned in pain for my leg, but he silenced me by clasping my throat in his two bony hands. He squeezed, lifting me so my toes barely touched the ground. I gasped, clawing at his hands as my eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets.

             "Don't presume to know  _anything_ about me or my family!" He shouted into my face. I nodded, still gasping for air as my good leg kicked the ground seeking purchase. "You are nothing! A slave! And you dare speak about the royal family?" He dropped me to the ground, I shrieked as I went down, quickly moving so I'd fall onto my good side. My ribs where he kicked me taking the brunt of my weight. I started to hyperventilate as I greedily took in air. 

             "You could be hung for that kind of impertinence." Loki said with disgust. I nodded slowly, despite the pain I lowered my head to the floor.

             "Forgive me, my-my prince." I whispered. Loki scoffed, I heard his foot scuffle as he pulled it back, I was shrouded in darkness as he kicked me square in the head.

***

             I awoke to someone poking me in the shoulder. I moaned in pain, trying to swat them away. 

             "Shh, shh I'm not here to hurt you. I'm going to try to bring you to the healer, but I need you to help me." An unknown voice murmured. I cracked an eye open. I had been placed back in my room, my entire body ached. My head swam, I could feel a slight bulge at the crown of my head where the prince had kicked me. I winced at the pain, but nothing hurt as much as my leg. A man stood over me, holding a candle. I blinked, my eyes trying to adjust to the dim light.

             "Who are you?" I asked, I heard a deep breath and he lifted the candle so it illuminated his face. I gasped. 

             "It's--You're--"

             "Shh, shh. The prince still sleeps in his room, we cannot wake him."

"But--Birger, you're alive?" Birger, my childhood friend smiled back at me. I could see that he was wearing an Asgardian guard uniform. "H-How, how are you here?" Tears sprang to my eyes. I lifted a hand despite the pain in my limbs and cupped his cheek. I could see a tear slip down his cheek as well.

             "A long story, I'm afraid. One I will tell you as soon as we can get you to help. I've been looking for you, my princess. I'm so sorry I didn't find you before." He settled onto his knees and pressed my hand to his forehead. "Now that I've found you I swear to protect you with my life, to make up for how we failed you and the royal family during the invasion."

 


	7. The Princess and the Plunge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops it took me longer than a week this time... sorry?  
> Life's busy, ya know how it is.

                 _Princess_. The word and its weight rolled around my brain as Birger half carried-half hauled me down the corridors. If truth be told, I'd never expected to be called that title again. I had thrown it away, locked it up in a tiny box in my heart the day I ran away from the Asgardian soldiers burning my family's summer home. The day my mother shoved me out the window minutes before Prince Thor and Lady Sif burst into the room and cut my parents to pieces. The day I saw fires light up the rest of my house, where my brother had still slept. I had forced myself to forget, forced myself to work as a slave because at least I had survived. At least my mother's sacrifice had not been in vain.

                Yet, Birger had returned for me. Birger had  _searched_ for me, and had not lost hope. I looked up at his face from his arms. He obviously was older now, and admittedly much handsomer than I had remembered. His boyish grin that seemed to have never left his face when we were children was replaced by hard frown lines. I didn't miss the faint scar on his cheek and I wondered if he had received it during the invasion.

                My thoughts were drifting in and out, the world seeming to bubble and grow in front of me then suddenly suck away until it was a small pin point in the distance. My head lolled on Birger's shoulder and he shook me as he walked.

                "Hey, hey now Princess, don't faint on me now. Only a few more minutes until we've gotten there. Luckily Gerd owes me a favor so there shouldn't be an issue with your unexpected arrival." He looked down at me and smiled. "I'm so glad I've found you, princess." His smile faded, his mouth then sit in a hard line. "Although I should have sooner, before.."

                I groaned and waved a hand. "Don't waste time with any of that nonsense. It's miracle enough we've found each other." I looked away. "And don't call me princess."

                "You're right, it's too dangerous for others to learn your identity. Forgive me prin--Leanna." I nodded, closing my eyes again and he shook me once more. "Please, Leanna, you must stay awake. In training I knew a man who hit his head and after he slept he did not wake for three weeks." I forced my eyes open to peer up at him.

                "Training? How did a noble son from Eyvindara manage to become a member of the royal guard?" Birger glanced down at me sharply and sucked in a breath. His mouth set in a hard line again, I realized he was distancing himself when he did that.

                "A tale for later. Through here, it won't be much longer." He set me down lightly to open a small wooden door that descended into darkness. Birger grabbed a torch from the wall and sent me an apologetic look. "You can put most of your weight on me, but these stairs can get slippery, they run under the sewer system and it can get a little... treacherous to carry you all the way." I shrugged, trying not to think about my leg. trying not to think about how al I wanted to do was lay down and never wake again. Birger had found me, there was hope. I needed to look strong in front of him, for the first time in a long time I had meaning again. Purpose. Sure, I wasn't sure what that purpose would be, but Birger being here had to be a sign from the Gods that there was hope for my country. I couldn't let a broken leg and banged up skull get in the way of that.

                Together we managed down the twisting staircase. Despite myself I needed to take a break time and again, I pushed as far as I could but then my lungs would tremble and it felt like my throat had closed up and Birger would have to stop assisting me since I would protest any breaks. But he was right. 

                After my fifth break we reached a tunnel. Birger swept me into his arms again and I put my head on his chest, my eyes fluttering shut.

                "No, Leanna. You must still stay awake, I'm sorry." I forced my eyes open with a pout. But I didn't complain. Even though I remembered many embarrassing things from our childhood, I didn't want to seem weak in front of him. I didn't want to shame myself. I couldn't help but wonder what he thought about me after finding me. Did he think--Did he think I was willingly sleeping with the enemy of our country?

                I shoved the thought away venomously and swore to myself not to let myself go down that path. Birger hadn't asked what my role was in the palace, and I wasn't sure how he'd react if he found out. I wasn't sure which alternative was worse, him thinking I was the prince's concubine or him knowing how the prince...

                It didn't matter. None of it mattered. Birger was here, and that meant my people had a chance. 

                 _What chance? What is an incompetent slave girl going to do for an entire country? Your parents couldn't even stop the invasion, how could you hope to lead them to revolution?_

I swallowed and shook my head, as if physically to remove my thoughts.  _For now I need a healer to look at me. That's all._

                The tunnel suddenly veered right and then we were out in the night. I looked around wildly, we were in the town right outside the palace. I gaped up at the castle's tall walls and banners. I hadn't left the castle since I had been sold here. I had to admit, it was impressive. Overbearing on the small town like a fortress.

                Birger hunkered down, creeping through alleyways, his ears perked as he listened for any of the guards' footsteps. We stopped outside a small cottage, a candle flickering in the window. 

                Birger set me down, keeping an arm out for me to hold on to. I kept myself from leaning on him too much, it was childish but I didn't want to seem any weaker than I already did in front of my childhood friend. His sudden arrival in my life still had me spinning, how did he get here? What did he mean that he had been searching for me? Who else knew (or suspected) that I was alive?

                It wasn't like I could go back to Eyvindara anyways. I couldn't raise an army, I couldn't fight Asgard. The best I could do was read the prince's books and maybe get some coal stains on the pages if I was feeling rebellious.

                Birger knocked on the door softly, he scanned the streets around us with vigilance. I heard a scuffle on the other side and a faint light illuminate under the door, no doubt the result of lighting a candle. Birger knocked again with more urgency, I could see his knuckles clenched. I suppose he was risking a lot, bringing me there. If Loki knew what he was doing...

                I shuddered and forced the thought back. I wasn't going to think about him. It was a silly habit I was trying to learn. To not let him become my whole world, he had upended my life so it would revolve around him. I wouldn't let him win.

                "Who's out there at this time of night?" A female voice croaked from behind the door. Birger glanced at me, I shrugged.  _You're the one who knows her._

                "Gerd, it's me." Birger said quietly, the door creaked open and a woman peered out, a candle next to her. She squinted at us. From her voice I expected an old woman, yet she was probably less than a decade older than I. 

                "And who's this?" Gerd asked, eyeing me suspiciously. She kept the door open only a fraction of an inch. I sent Birger a warning look, I didn't think he would compromise my identity, but I wasn't sure how much he trusted her. I certainly needed to make that decision for myself.

                "A friend. She needs your help." Gerd scanned me and cocked her head at how I leaned on Birger. She growled in her throat and frowned at Birger. 

                "You better not get me beheaded, I'll haunt you to the end of your days. That's a promise." Birger waved a hand at her and chuckled. She opened the door and ushered us inside, sticking her head out into the corridor and looking both ways nervously before latching the doors. 

                The room was small, with two other doorways on the opposite wall. A worktable lay in the middle of the room, with a small desk cluttered with papers and quills and a rack of vials shoved against the right wall. Gerd hurried forward and cleared some random papers and books from the work table in the center of the room. She stepped away and gestured towards the table.

                "Put her here." She ordered Birger, as if I were a sack of potatoes. Birger swept me up into his arms and set me gently on the table. He stared down at me for a moment, as if in awe.

                "I still can't really believe I've found you." He said softly, an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

                "And I'm not going to waste time by listening to your endless prattle. Move, oaf!" Gerd emerged, abruptly elbowing Birger out of the way. He stumbled sideways. Gerd, despite her brash demeanor was tender as she delicately slid my dress up my legs. Birger coughed and looked up at the ceiling.

                "Good gods, Birger it's only a leg don't faint." I croaked, wincing a bit as Gird touched my knee. She tutted, glancing up at us.

                "Where else are you hurting?" She asked, concern apparent. I motioned to my ribs and my forehead. She nodded and opened a drawer on the worktable, pulling out a pair of long scissors. I cringed, pain flaring up again with the movement.

                "Hey, hey, don't move." Gerd said with tenderness I hadn't heard in her voice before.

                "No, what are you going to do with those?" I asked, Birger had moved above me and was bracing my shoulders which caused more panic to flare in my chest. I looked both at them wildly. Gerd raised both hands, as if calming a wild animal.

                "To cut your dress, dear. No need to worry." I shook my head frantically.

                "No, no absolutely not." I said sternly, struggling against Birger. "Y-You can't." I took a deep breath, looking up at her in the eye. "Please." Gerd sighed but nodded.

                "Okay, then I'll need your help to take her dress off." She said, someone must have entered from the other room. I squeezed my eyes shut as hands gingerly pushed me up slightly and pulled my dress over my head. I glanced up at Birger.

                "Now's the time you can look away I suppose." I said in a straining voice as Gerd moved my slip up too to examine my ribs. She sucked in a breath and pressed the side of my ribs slightly. I sucked in a breath but didn't cry out in pain. I had to maintain my dignity as well as a person could lying naked on a table in front of strangers. I stole a glance at Birger as Gerd continued to examine me. His gaze was still on the ceiling, but his hands remained on my shoulder, his thumbs making soothing circles.

                "Well, your ribs are badly bruised but not broken." Gerd smoothed her hands over my forehead. "And this, did it cause you to faint when you... received it?" She wasn't going to ask how I had gotten my injuries, probably suspected that it was from a powerful person in the castle. The knowledge would only endanger her. She didn't even ask my name.

                I nodded at her question.

                "She woke though, but I have not let her sleep since." Birger said, eyes still upward. Gerd nodded solemnly.

                "There is a chance for a head injury, but I'll see to the more... apparent matters." Her gaze swept to my leg again. She pulled my slip down and nodded to the person beside her who I still couldn't bring myself to even turn my head. The adrenaline that had coursed through me to get here had vanished and I was left with a searing pain through my leg up my ribs. My head throbbed, and I wish I could pretend to be strong through it all but a whimper still escaped me as Gerd lifted my leg once more.

                She was handed a leather piece and she approached me with it, I looked up at Birger who grimaced. 

                "You're going to need to bite down on this, dear." Gerd said gently, I shuddered but took it.Gerd took a slab of wood, no more than an inch thick. She sent Birger an unreadable look, her face grave. "This may--This  _will_ hurt like Hel. But we need to set your leg back in place."

                I squeezed my eyes shut, then a pain like I'd never felt before screamed up my leg. I shrieked into the gag, biting down on it hard. I could hear them shushing me but any dignity I had thought I could preserve went flying out the window. Birger held me down but I bucked against his hold, still howling. My world bled red and finally, as if my mind couldn't bear it, everything went black.

***

                 I woke with a start, my hands flying up to shove whomever was touching me. The person danced back and I blinked the world into focus. I looked around, I was in a bed now. Presumably in the next room from the one I had been in before. I rubbed my eyes, then groaned at the pain in my ribs. I lifted the thin sheet covering me and looked down, wincing. My torso was wrapped with cold ice on my bruised side. My leg was tied to a wooden slat, they had straightened the bone.

                 I set the sheet back down and looked around me. I was on a small bed, a nightstand next to me. Another bed stood diagonal from me, the doorway ahead.  I shifted, pulling myself so I was sitting up, whimpering again with pain. Then I noticed that there was still a person near me and I blushed in embarrassment. I must look so weak in front of them.

                 Then I recognized her. My jaw dropped.

                 "Elise?" I rasped in shock. My voice was scratchy from disuse. Elise stretched from where she was folding sheets and approached. She smiled at me but it didn't seem to reach her eyes. She slid the blanket back from my leg without speaking, examining it with a critical eye. I didn't know what to say. Was she sold here? Or had she escaped?

                 "Elise... We should speak--" Just then I heard a loud banging on the door of the cottage. Both me and Elise snapped towards the noise. I could see Gerd approaching it cautiously. She turned towards us and motioned at Elise who left and presumably went into the other side room. Was she hiding from someone? Was she hiding from the prince?

                Gerd opened the door a fraction of an inch.

                "Oh, Prince Loki, my lord I didn't expect to have the honor--"

                "I am looking for my attendant, have you seen her?" Gerd looked at me nervously. I couldn't read the emotion on her face from there. She stepped back from the door, opening it wide. 

                "Yes, my prince, she came in last night." She glanced at me again, I realized she was apologizing.  _I understand_ , I thought to her _, don't endanger yourself for a stranger_.

                The prince walked in without invitation, he barged towards me without even having to look around the room. I brought the covers up to my chin as if that would protect me. his gaze went to my forehead, I remembered I most likely had a huge bruise there. Two soldiers followed him in. I almost gasped when I recognized Birger as one of them but I forced myself not to show any recognition and ignored them, as if they were flies on the wallpaper.

                "Oh, my dear, Leanna. I heard how you fell down the stairs last night, such a clumsy thing you are." Loki was smiling at me as he approached, though no kindness emanated from it. I sent a shaky smile back.

                "Yes... I suppose I am quite clumsy, sire. I didn't know you'd come all the way out here to search for me." I'd have to choose my words carefully.

                "So brave of you to have gotten all the way out here by yourself! And so banged up too, one must wonder if you had some help..." I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

                "Well, I don't remember much, truth be told. I hit my head pretty hard. I think I must have crawled most of the way here." 

                Gerd swept in then, putting a hand on my head and clucking in concern.

                "Yes, you have a very strong girl here serving you, majesty. I don't know many trained soldiers who could get all the way she did, what with a broken leg and all." Loki's eyebrows furrowed.

                "Broken leg?" He scoffed. "She can't be more than a little bruised." Gerd shook her head and lifted the blanket on my legs. I winced, it was silly but I didn't want to have the prince look at me. I could go the rest of my life without his ruthless gaze traveling over my body. It made me feel small. It made me feel no more valued than an object. A pretty vase to look at.

                I was surprised to hear Loki's sharp intake of breath when he saw my leg.

                "We had to set it back straight, the board will have to be on her leg for a few weeks, maybe months so the bone can heal. She's lucky she was able to get here, any longer and we may have had to cut it off." I sat up straight.

                "You  _what_?"

                Gerd ignored me. "I'll need her here for a few more days, to make she's recovering correctly." Loki was still speechless. I realized he hadn't thought he'd gone that far. He hadn't realized he'd crossed a very real, a very dangerous line. He blinked, motioning for her to cover my legs again, I felt some weight from my shoulders lift. He shook his head, coming back to the present.

                "That won't be necessary, I'll have the court physician watch over her." Gerd's eyes caught mine, that same pitying look crossing her face. She knew. She knew what the prince had done to me.

                "Sire, I hate to disagree with your highness, but her recovery would go a lot smoother--" Loki whirled on her, rage crossing his features.

                "Then  _don't_ disagree with me. She'll be well taken care of. Besides, you dare to think of yourself as better than the royal physician? You are a village nobody, and my attendant deserves better than a half educated peasant putting cabbage down her throat."  _Cabbage_? That was random.

                Gerd looked at her feet, effectively shamed. I wanted to scream at Loki for his rudeness.

                "I will pay you handsomely for your work, I am grateful for that. But I'll have someone else oversee her health." Gerd nodded, then looked back up at him.

                "I'll write a note for your apothecary for the right medicines for her. I can have a wheeled chair brought over so that she won't risk damaging her leg in the walk over, but that will take a couple of hours, sire." Loki's jaw clenched, but he nodded.

                "Fair enough... Thank you, for seeing her last night." Gerd nodded. "May I have a moment alone with my attendant now? I have some... urgent matters I need to be discussed." Gerd's face was stoney. 

                "Of course, sire. Let me know if you have need for anything else." She sent me one last look and swept out of the room. Loki motioned at his guards, I was careful not to look at Birger as they left.

                His back was still to me. Fear was crawling down my throat, constricting my lungs, tightening its grip on my heart. What would he do now? Interrogate me on how I gotten here? Would he realize it was Birger? Would he kill him?

                Loki turned towards me, an unrecognizable look written on his face. I braced myself.

                 _Be strong. Be strong. Be strong._

                "I..." He trailed off, looking away again. I could see his lip tremble. My eyebrows furrowed, was the prince... emotional?

                "I hadn't realized I had gone so far..." He murmured so quietly I could hardly hear him. I blinked. Was he apologizing? He looked at me again, stepping forward and I instinctively flinched back. He froze, we stared at one another.

                "You crossed a line last night, completely impertinent for a slave. However, you need to believe me when I say that I don't actually  _want_ to hurt you." I drew back in disbelief. "I know that's hard to believe. I know that I have not been... at my kindest when it comes to you but..." He looked back up at me, taking a breath. He reached out and took my hand. I stared at it.

                "Despite your position, despite your lack of titles... I am quite fond of you, Leanna." He squeezed my hand, I couldn't tear my eyes off of it. "From the moment I caught you reading my books. How enwrapped by it you were, how in awe... I knew I had stumbled upon someone like me. Someone who loves knowledge and stories." I swallowed. "And when we spoke... you were like no servant I'd ever talked to before. You were like no  _girl_ I've talked to before. You were--are witty, and smart, and so gods damned  _observant_."

                My lip trembled. I didn't want to be hearing this. An angry, lonely prince I could handle. I could accept. A delusional one that actually thought his actions meant he  _cared_ for me was another thing entirely. It made hating him so much more... complicated.

                "It enraged me, truth be told. You have a habit of saying things that strike me at my core. To push me and push me and  _push_ me. But... at the end of the day I could not bear it if I lost you. So I will do something I  _rarely do_." I looked up at him, dread coiling up in my chest. "I'm  _sorry_ , Leanna. For going too far. I would  _never_ mean to permanently harm you like this. I'm so grateful that you were able to make it here and save yourself, and it only makes my fondness for you grow as I take in how strong and determined your will is." He chuckled. "Although I suppose that will is also why we butt heads so much, but that can be managed."

                He grasped my hand with his other, stepping closer. His intensity made me want to run and hide. "I swear to you, I will not hurt you like this again." I searched his eyes. Was this all a manipulation, a trick? Did he think I would let my walls down so he could finally crack me apart? "So, I'd like to make a deal. I promise to not hurt you anymore, if you agree to stop...  _fighting_ me so much. I know I was cruel to you before about this, but it would be nice... to have a friend like you." My stomach lurched.

                The prince wanted me to act willing. The prince didn't just want me to be his whore, Loki wanted my entire heart.

                But what could I do? If I agreed... If I pretended... He wouldn't watch me so closely anymore. I could earn his trust. I could find an opportunity to watch and listen in on Asgardian politics. I could escape.

                I swallowed the last of my pride and dignity, and nodded. The Prince smiled. The first genuine smile I think I'd ever seen form him. It lit up his face and I remembered, I remembered how I once thought he could be kind. Maybe if I played my part well, the Prince would die kind.

                "Oh, oh Leanna this will be much better for us I think! No more tiring games, no more useless battles. No more spilled wine..." He winked, I forced a small smile. He leaned forward and kissed me quickly on the lips. I had to remember not to wipe my mouth in disgust.

                "I'll see you again soon, my dear. It will be different from here on out, I swear it to you." He lifted our clasped hands and kissed my knuckles firmly. His eyes on mine. I had to force another smile until he released me. He seemed almost... giddy. As he left. I heard him exchange words with Gerd and the closing of the door signified he left. 

                I felt the breath whoosh out of me and I collapsed onto the bed. I had to be willing for the prince now. I had to pretend to  _want_ him, after he'd  _raped_ me--

                I sat up quickly, my lungs feeling like they would burst. My stomach turned over and I gagged. Gerd was next to me in an instant and she handed me a bowl. I grabbed it from her and emptied the contents of my stomach into it. Gerd rubbed my back in soothing circles. Despite myself, despite not wanting to appear weak I felt myself begin to sob. Body lurching movement as I felt my entire being ripped away from me. 

                "Leanna..." She must have learned my name from the prince. "I know nothing I can say will make this better." I sobbed again, she took the bowl from me and put it on a nearby table. "It's okay to cry, dear. It's okay." She came over again, rubbing my back. I cried until I could contain myself again. Then I forced myself to sit up and wipe my eyes. Gerd took a step back and showed me a small vial that had been in her hand.

                "I hate to bring this up to you at a time like this... I know that your relationship with the prince is not..." She trailed off and shook her head. She squared her shoulders back and handed it to me. It had no label. I looked at her quizzically. "I thought you might want it... no charge... It's so that you do not... It's so that you do not conceive." I dropped it into my lap like it was poison, my eyes widening.

                "No, I do not want this--I don't  _need_ it." She hushed me, her voice going stern.

                "I'm well aware of the nature of your relationship. I'm well aware that you do not  _want_ this. But I also know that you do not want a pregnancy from him. Don't let yourself be tied to him forever, get out when you can. And to do that, you will need this." She motioned towards it. "Of course, it's your choice. But I thought you'd want that chance. Drink a drop once a day, don't skip any days or it will be useless."

                She left the room and my shoulders slumped. I lifted the bottle warily, a translucent liquid winking in the light. I frowned at it.

                "I'm only going to take this because I don't want to birth the prince's spawn." I hissed at it. "So don't think I'm fully stepping on the whore platform yet."

                I heard a scuffle as Elise entered the room again. I put the bottle between my thighs, suddenly embarrassed that she might see it.

                "Elise!" She lifted her eyebrows at me. "Look, I really think we should talk. I know that you were Prince Loki's housemaid before..." Elise looked back down at the floor, suddenly interested in her feet. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but you must know that I didn't take your position willingly." She closed her eyes. "He..." Tears pricked my eyes again, I blinked the back furiously but my voice still cracked with emotion. "He's hurt me, Elise. And I'm only telling you this because I suspect he may have... hurt you too."

                Elise stepped towards me, finally looking up at me. We stared at one another for an indeterminable amount of time. Then she nodded, a slight movement but it confirmed everything I'd feared. 

                "I'm so sorry, Elise." I said, genuine sadness pouring out of me. "I'm so sorry you-- _we_ don't deserve it. We don't. And I'm going to try... I'm going to try to make sure he can't do it anymore." She cocked her head, I waved a hand, dismissing it. She had no idea who I was, a slave promising to put a stop to a prince was an empty promise to her. Maybe it was empty anyways. "But... despite it all. I hope you can count me as a friend, as someone who understands." Elise nodded again, and reached towards me. I took her hand gratefully, a tear escaping.

                "How did you get here? Are you hiding out? Are you going to try to leave Asgard?" Elise shrugged. I held her hand tighter. 

                "It's okay, you can  _talk_ to me, maybe I can help you." I couldn't give away who my friends were, although there was a strong chance she already knew. Elise stepped back, trying to pull her hand with her.

                " _Please_ , Elise. We can work together, you just need to--" She shook her head furiously and tore her hand from my grasp. I threw up my hands in exasperation. "I only want to help!" I exclaimed. I saw her throat bob as she swallowed. She took a deep breath through her nose then looked up at me, her gaze intense. She shook her head again and opened her mouth, pointing to her mutilated tongue.

                It had been cut out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did contraception exist? Nope! (Except the pulling out method, unfortunately I know this because of humiliating high school projects I had to orate in front of a room full of giggly boys but we don't need to dig into that) but I don't care bc this girl needs a win!!
> 
> Also, did people know about concussions?? Also no!! Again, I don't freaking care bc sewage systems also didn't exist yet in ancient Norse times but I don't want to write about people shitting in a pot so we're gonna pretend it did.
> 
> Anywayssssss as always let me know what you think and what you think of Birger (Burger hahahahahahahahah norse names are funny) if I could incorporate someone comparing him to McDonald's I totally would but unfortunately I chose ancient times instead of modern day but be sure that I think about it every time he pops up. I need to keep myself entertained as I write this SAD TRASH
> 
> Also.... I use too many elipses.... and commas.... so I'm sorry if that's annoying, but also it's because sometimes I'm writing so quickly as I think and you can just tell how my thought process is going haywire. Trust me, it's an issue with my college essays my professors are NOT kind about it... but also... it don't bother me so I'm sorry but also not sorry because I can't do nothin' about it.


	8. Pretty Little Things

                To my surprise, Birger was the guard the prince had sent to retrieve me. At least it was a sign he had no suspicion that Birger had helped me to the healer's hut. Yet, I was still wary of him. The prince was ruthless, everything was one large complicated game to him. I had no desire to play, so I did not waste my time with Birger by pondering if the prince already knew and it was all a set up for some cruel end.

                Elise's face swam in front of me, and the horrid thing the prince had done to her. After showing me why she could not speak, Elise sadly retreated into another room. I wished I had not been so frozen with shock and disbelief that I could have said something. That I could have comforted her. 

                I told Birger in short, emotional spurts what the prince had done to his old housemaid. Birger had been as horrified as I.

                "Maybe we could find out more, she could write to communicate with us." He offered, pushing the noisy wheeled chair Gerd had sent us off in. I looked up at him, excited at the idea. Reality crashed on me like a stone and I turned back to my lap with a sad sigh.

                "I fear that if she knew how to read or write, she would have already used that to communicate with me." I said, fidgeting with my fingers. I could hear Birger's labored breathing and at first I thought he was deeply affected by her predicament. Then I realized he was having a tough time pulling me up the stairs of the palace.

                "Oh, Birger I could walk this. I'll need some support though." My hands already braced the arm rests of the chair. Birger waved it away with a huff.

                "Absolutely not, you heard what Gerd said. No walking. You don't want to risk injuring your leg even more and having it go beyond... repair." I released the arm rests and crossed my arms childishly. 

                "I hate this." I said, sullen. "How will we meet and talk if I'm not to move on my own for days, maybe even weeks?" Birger stopped for a moment and lightly squeezed my shoulder.

                "Let's not dive into desolation because of a setback. I've found you, my prin--" He released my shoulder instantly, as if remembering the place we were in. He resumed pulling me up the stairs. "We should focus on the opportunities that this brings us. Eyvindara has its princess again, it can wait a few months for her to get back."

                I looked back down at my fingers. I wondered if I should voice my fears about returning to Eyvindara. Returning to my title. I wondered if I should tell him that I was not fit to be a leader, not fit to bring my people back into peace and prosperity.

                I kept my mouth shut and Birger finally heaved my chair onto the last step. Two guards I hadn't noticed opened the large doors of Asgard's castle for us. My eyebrows furrowed in distaste. They'd been there all along and hadn't bothered to help? The impropriety of these Asgardian brutes!

                Birger pushed me down a corridor, his breathing growing less labored the farther we travelled from the stairs.

                "I'm sorry you have to drag me all the way in this clunky thing." I broke the silence, craning my neck to look up at him. Birger sent me a toothy grin.

                "You're doing me a favor, I'm missing so much training being Prince Loki's personal escort, I fear I'll have grown flabby by Fall." I rolled my eyes, facing forward again.

                "Oh I doubt that, you've always been so strong and fast--" I cut myself off, suddenly embarrassed of what I was saying. Birger pounced on the opportunity immediately though, a laugh bouncing through the halls.

                "Oh you noticed that, did you? Did little Princess Lea have a crush on--"

                "You watch your tongue!" I snapped, hoping he didn't see my face redden. "I'd get off your high horse, anyone next to skinny Erik looks like Prince Charming." Birger laughed again,  found I had missed making people laugh. 

                "That is very true, Lea. I remember that day you came and whopped him across the field with a wooden sword. We never let him live that one down, although none of us would have tried to taunt you again, that's for sure." A genuine grin broke out across my face and I chuckled. I felt a wave of sadness crash over me, drenching me in the memories of those I had lost. I frowned at my hands.

                "Yes, I suppose he was never much of a fighter." I swallowed, realizing then I was close to tears. I blinked, taking in my surroundings, we were approaching the prince's door.

                "Leanna, you know that--" I didn't get to hear what I was supposed to know. The door opened and the Prince himself strode out. He spotted us and his eyebrows drew together. My heart lurched so I schooled my expression into one of frustration.

                "--So if next time I have to be transported from the village would you let your superiors know I'd like someone that has at least  _half_ a brain to assist me. You hit so many rocks on the way over I fear my spine is now broken too!"

                To my surprise Birger didn't miss a beat. He simply rolled his eyes, then glancing up he seemed to straighten as if seeing the prince for the first time. I was impressed to say in the least.

                "Leanna, you're certainly more... fiery than the last time I saw you." Loki drawled, his signature smirk on his face. I jabbed a finger up at Birger, who was still holding the handles of my wheelchair. As he gazed at the prince his eyes had turned steely for a split second, then with a blink he resumed his role as uncaring soldier.

                "I hate to seem ungrateful sire, but this miserable  _oaf_ jumbled me up the stairs so much I fear I'll have to return to the healer's for a brace for my back... or neck." I sent a glare at Birger, he sent an apologetic look at the prince. Who stood there, incredulous to my sudden burst of anger at the guard. By his smirk he was more amused than suspicious of it.

                "The healer gave her some herbs for the pain that might have... altered her temper, sire." Birger explained, I was taken aback by his quick thinking. To sell it I slammed my hands down on the armrests so I cold further contort myself to face him.

                " _No_ , you hitting ever gods forsaken rock in Asgard on the way here altered my temper!" I shouted. Loki's brows raised.

                "...I see, alright I can take her from here. Thank you for fetching her." Loki waited for Birger to push my wheeled chair towards him, but Birger seemed frozen for a moment. I saw his cold glance towards the prince's chambers. I knew how he felt, dread welled in my throat too. But, he pried his fingers from the handles and stepped back, sending the prince a curt bow before striding away. I forced myself not to watch him walk away.

***

                I expected to enter his chambers in disarray. Even though I was now an attendant and not a housemaid, I found the daily task of cleaning up after Prince Loki quite grueling. He was constantly just flinging his papers about, tossing a book aside when he finished. When I brought him his meals he had somehow managed to put every dish, cup, and utensil in a different part of the room. However, when the Prince pushed me by the chair into the room I found it to be... tidy. I'm not sure why I even noticed. 

                I was hyper alert. The Prince wanted a "truce". The Prince didn't want me to fight back anymore, in return for treating me better. I wasn't sure what "better" entailed, but now that I had someone on my side in the castle again. Someone who I could trust that would help me escape, I needed to utilize any opportunity for the Prince not to keep such a close eye on me. 

                The broken leg also meant that I would have to wait around for a long time, until it healed enough that I could use it again. I had no doubt of Birger's intelligence, his ability to become part of the royal guard certainly meant that he was cunning. But any escape plan he might cook up would definitely have a time where I would need to run, or at least, be able to move on my own.

                So, I needed to wait. And for the time it takes my leg to heal, I'll need the Prince to trust me.

                The Prince brought us up to my door, the tapestry that usually covered it was held up by a hook. I looked at it quizzically, glancing at the Prince. He smiled and shrugged.

                "I had it put like that so you could get in easier while you're... using that." He explained, placing a hand on my shoulder while he leaned over to unlatch my door. I tried not to cringe from his touch.  _Wait. Get him to trust you._ At some point he would want to do more than just touch my shoulder, I needed to be ready.

                He hesitated before pushing the door open. "I know your mind is a bit... altered right now from the herbs. But I have another surprise for you if you'd like to see it." I raised my eyebrows at him. The herbs... right.

                I managed a strange smile, as if I was intoxicated. At the farm where I had worked before the farmer had been constantly drunk. I copied his slow, heavy movements that would characterize his inebriation.

                "A surprise, for me?" I asked in a high voice. Loki only chuckled and pushed the door open. I wheeled myself in, and despite my overwhelming hatred for the man next to me, I gasped.

                A whole wall of bookshelves had been installed by my bed. Scores of titles greeted me and I wheeled myself over in an instant, reaching up but from the chair my fingers could barely graze the spines. I heard Loki's footsteps and his presence engulfed me as he reached over my head and took one of the books I had been reaching for down. He handed it to me, a half smile prominent on his face. He was proud of himself.

                I slid my fingertips over the gold emblazoned title. The cover was a thick leather of dark brown. My eyes widened as I recognized the slight change in spelling.

                "This is an Eyvindarian book." I said in wonder, my head snapped up to look at Loki who only smiled wider. 

                "I thought a taste of your homeland might... raise your spirits." He said in explanation, shrugging again. But his eyes were warm. He was... happy with himself for doing this for me. I looked back own at the book, I had read countless books in Eyvindara. If I wasn't with one of my tutors or my brother, I was in the library, reading anything I could get my hands on. 

                I opened the book, ready to read about daring sword fights or legendary heroes from my history. But after a paragraph I realized it was the beginnings of a romance. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked back up at Loki.

                "Yes, I know it's not a saga or some history book. I thought you might enjoy reading something more womanly." He still looked so smug, as if I'd scream in happiness for being allowed the privilege to read something more feminine. Obviously books involving wars and information were manly and therefore boring to me. I swallowed the knot at the back of my throat at the reminder of how my gender impacted so much of my life. 

                "I don't think words can express how grateful I am, my lord." I said meekly, bowing my head. Loki squeezed my shoulder, then reached down and took my hand. His lips grazed my knuckles, his green eyes piercing through me. My heart pounded, did he know? He had thwarted my escape before, he always seemed to be one step ahead of me. Did he know who I was and was he only getting me Eyvindarian books to mess with my head?

                "The pleasure is mine, Leanna. I have to say, I enjoy seeing you happy." I managed a weak smile, despite the twist of my heart.  _So glad that after you've beaten me and **raped** me you realize you like seeing me "happy".  _"While you're healing I want you to be able to rest as much as possible. Hopefully these books will keep you company for the time you're bedridden."

                "Thank you, Prince Loki." I said, shoving down the compulsion to snatch my hand away and wipe it on my dress. He still hadn't let go, and was rubbing his thumb in small circles on my skin. 

                "I have matters to attend to now, but I would love to be able to have dinner with you tonight. Just you and I." I couldn't read his expression. I wanted to scream at the constant battle of confusion, was this an ominous threat? Did he want me alone for a reason? Or was he truly just trying to make peace with me? Did he think that any of these gifts could make up for all he had done to me?

                He finally released my hand and stood to his full height, he had to duck under the doorway. "Oh," He said over his shoulder in afterthought. "And if you need anything, Vera can help you."

                I raised an eyebrow, turning my chair to face him. "Vera?"

                "I forgot to mention. My new housemaid. She should be here in another hour or so and can fetch you anything you might need." He winked and sauntered out. He didn't notice how I had suddenly turned pale. My stomach dropped like lead.

                A new maid. For Loki. The rapist.

***

                Despite my annoyance at being forced to read romances when my heart yearned for epic battles, I found myself getting lost in the story. Although it brought tears to my eyes when I first started reading and came across names I hadn't heard since Eyvindara that I had forgotten were so much more common there. Clarissa, Elias, Hugo... I had known four Hugos that had lived in our palace. 

                I was getting to the part where Clarissa narrowly escapes marrying Hugo by ruining her own wedding when I heard the doors open. I sat up from the bed, a silly part of me didn't want Loki to see me enjoying the books he had gotten for me. 

                I pulled my chair over and tried to pull myself into it as quickly as possible. I had not mastered this yet, it had taken several minutes for me to even get into my bed in the first place. It took a lot of ungraceful curse words before I figured out how to best transfer my weight while maintaining my balance.

                I put too much of my weight on one side of the wheelchair and ended up pushing it over, I pitched sideways and yelped as I came crashing to the floor.

                I heard a scuffle outside, the door burst open and a young girl scampered in, looking worried.

                "Oh, miss Leanna, are you hurt?" The girl rushed to my side and kneeled beside me. She had light brown hair and freckles that covered her entire face and neck. Her green eyes were startling, she couldn't have been more than 14.

                "Oh, thank you. Yes I am quite fine. Unfortunately I do think I'll need help getting into my chair." I spat out the word help. She nodded and set my chair back in place. Then supported me best she could, together we managed and I sagged in relief. 

                "So..." I was still embarrassed. So her first impression of me would now be a clumsy fool. At least it hadn't been the Prince who heard me fall. "You must be Vera." She nodded, looking uncomfortable to be standing before me. 

                "I am. And you're Leanna, the Prince has already filled me in on your injury." She curtsied and I looked behind me in bewilderment, as if someone noble was behind me and that explained why she would be curtsying. Seeing my face she blushed.

                "Sorry... I don't mean to be strange. Am I not supposed to curtsy? You're an attendant but I know you're not noble so I'm not sure what your station is..." She trailed off, reddening more. "Not that it's bad you're not noble blooded! I'm just unsure of how to address you and I haven't worked here very long and I--"

                "It's alright, no need to be embarrassed, or apologize... or curtsy for that matter. You can just call me Leanna." She nodded. Did she think me a whore too? I knew the rumors were swirling around the palace. It was next to impossible she hadn't heard whispers of how people thought I had earned my new role. 

                "Okay. Well, I should go stoke the fires." She said, she refused to meet my eyes. She brushed past me and I took a deep breath, then wheeled after her.

                "I can help you, if anyone knows the annoyance of tending to these fireplaces, it's me." Vera kneeled next to the fireplace, pulling some logs and coal out of her basket. I took some coal out too and wheeled over the the braziers and stoked them. 

                "Oh, miss. You don't need to do that." She said, looking up form the fire, coal dust had gotten into her hair and onto her dress. I waved her away.

                "My leg is the only thing broken, I can't just lay around all day. That's far too boring for my taste." I said, then smiled at her. Vera smiled back.

                We worked in silence for a while, until we finished her task. Vera collected her supplies, before she could leave I called out to her.

                "Vera?" She turned around from the door. "It was nice to meet you." I said, Vera smiled, almost going for a curtsy before stopping herself at the last moment.

                "It was nice to meet you too, miss." 

                "It's nice to have... a friend here. So, if you ever need anything from me, you can always ask." Vera blinked at me, before cracking another smile so wide her dimples popped out. 

                "I'll remember that. I'd like to be friends. Thank you." She grinned again and waved before leaving. I watched the door close before letting out a breath. I didn't want to scare her off, but if Loki was going to switch and prey on the child. I wanted to be able to do something about it.

                I eyed the books on his bookshelves. An idea sparking through me. I looked around for a moment before a title caught my eye. I grabbed it, thankfully it was within reach.

                "The Laws for all Asgardian Citizens" I said aloud, brushing a hand over the cover.  _This may serve useful_.

***

                I had fallen asleep after finishing the Eyvindarian romance. If anything, at least these corny books were sure to have a happy ending. That was nice at least. A knock on my door woke me with a start, and the book slid off my chest onto the floor, landing with a soft "thump". 

                I looked around, my candle had almost died out. I scrambled for a new one, then seeing the law book on my nightstand I shoved it under my mattress.

                "Come in." I said, sliding open the drawer and pulling out another candle. The Prince opened the door, his eyes trailing over the floor as if he thought I had fallen.

                "Oh, it's just your book on the ground. I thought I heard something clatter and worried you had toppled out of bed." He sent me an amused smile. I was getting uncomfortable with all the smiling he was doing lately. Before he had only smiled at me when he had something especially ominous in mind. No wonder he was setting me on edge, I couldn't trust my intuition on what his expressions meant.

                "Sorry, lord. I didn't mean to concern you." I said, sitting up straighter and smoothing out my blanket. He waved it away, before eyeing me distastefully.

                "I know we were just having a quiet dinner together, but I still meant for you to dress for the occasion." He said, casting a pointed glance at my day frock. I swallowed, looking down at myself.

                "Oh. Well, I don't really know how to dress myself right now since I'm not to put any weight on my leg, but I can try if you give me a moment--" Loki stepped into the room.

                "No need, I can help you." He had something under his arm. "It just so happens I had another gift for you, anyhow." He pulled out a box from under his arm and opened the cover, showing me an expensive dress inside. My eyes widened.

                "Oh sire, this is too much. You didn't need to--" 

                "I know." He said in a stern voice, I shut my mouth. "If I'm honest it's not completely innocent. I saw this the other day and thought it would look nice on you." I swallowed, reaching out and feeling the fabric with my fingers. It was soft and silkier, far finer than anything I had worn in an age.

                "I can try to put it on myself..." I said, not meeting his eyes. I knew I had to prepare for this, but him  _helping_ me undress? It seemed too intimate. Something that someone who actually cared for me would do. But the prince shook his head and set the box beside me on my bed. He leaned over and started to pull my dress up. My heart rate accelerated automatically.

                 _"Please, please don't do this!"_

_"Please sire, not again!"_

_"You're hurting me! Don't do this to me!"_

I blinked tears from my eyes, trying to push all the trauma back down as my rapist undressed me. 

                After successfully removing my frock, it took the prince several times to put my dress over my head the right way. He tried to force my head through a sleeve, then put it on backwards... He was murmuring curses under his breath. When he finally had it on right I laced up the front myself. I looked up at him, he was staring at me with a critical eye. Like an artist eyes his canvas.

                "Hmm. One moment." He reached forward and pulled out my hairpins. So that my hair fell to my shoulders. He smiled, satisfied. "I've always liked you hair down." He curled a lock of my blonde hair around his finger. I forced myself not to cringe. Not to think too hard about having his greasy, conniving fingers on me. I forced myself to smile up at him.

                "Shall we have dinner now, sire?" I asked meekly. He nodded, then surprised me by lifting me bridal style in his arms, and carrying me out into the main room of his chambers. He set me down at one of the soft chairs for his dining table. He sat across from me. The table was adorned with platters of roasted quail, rolls smothered in butter and honey, a jug full of mead. I had been content to eat the scraps they fed the servants for the rest of my days, I had actually put a lot of energy into not gaping at all the food they had at their nightly feasts. I hurriedly snatched up as much as I could and ate it so quickly my fingers were sticky with honey and grease.

                When I looked up the Prince was staring at me. Remembering my place I sat back and timidly wiped my face with a cloth. He blinked, then shrugged and went back to eating. I ha already drained a goblet of mead and was pouring myself another when Loki cleared his throat.

                "I'd like to make a toast." He said, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. I raised my cup to match his posture.

                "What are we toasting to, my lord?" I asked, still embarrassed that he watched me devour my plate like a dog. 

                "To new beginnings." He said. I echoed him, he was too far to clink glasses, so we ignored that tradition and each sipped our drinks. "I also want to say, Leanna, that you look beautiful tonight. I feel lucky to have found such an attractive, intelligent young maid to be my attendant." I took another gulp of mead before answering.

                "Thank you, my lord. You're too kind." I said, my eyes downcast. 

                "Not at all, I only speak the truth." I quietly scoffed into my cup. "But I do look forward to a different type of relationship with you." I looked up at him, he seemed genuine. But I couldn't fall for his tricks again. He had an angle with this, I just needed to find out what. "I know you must have heard rumors of my... many transgressions with women in the past." Elise and her cut out tongue flashed in my mind's eye. My fingers tightened around my goblet. "But I need to make something clear. What I've experienced with you is so much more different than I expected. You're unlike anyone I've ever met, and I don't plan on this being some short lived fling like I've had in the past." His tone was serious. He put down his cup and stood from the table.

                I set my goblet down too and cowered in my chair as knelt in front of me.  _What is he doing?_

                "I've let my desire for control go too far with you. I don't want to break you, Leanna." He took my hands in his. "From how you've managed to cause my trainings to almost triple, and learn about my... relationship with my family, I don't think I want to be your opponent either for that matter." He chuckled, as if everything we had gone through had been silly banter.

                "For us to go any farther, I need to know I can trust you, Leanna." His face was grave. I wanted to smash my platter over his head for everything he had done. But I nodded instead.

                "You can, my lord." I said solemnly. 

                He smiled and squeezed my hands. "You are so much more than the common slave, my dear. I think we may do great things together."

                 _Wait, observe, then act when the time is right._

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment what you think, feedback is so appreciated!!


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